Her Time. The Thing That Is Mine To Do

Dear Kids,

I hope I can describe what I've been feeling lately.

An awakening... of sorts. But a death... of sorts as well. The spirit is moving me to a new place.

This picture describes it perfectly... what is going on inside of me.

What better way to describe what is going on right now. There isn't another way. Everyday I have so much content that is being downloaded to my brain, but I don't know how to get it out because I have little people pushing and pulling on me so much. Just last night I had a TedX talk given to me. I could have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning writing it out... but then I had to sleep so I could actually function today... which I didn't do very well at that either. I have books I need to write. I have people I need to see. I have traveling that needs to get done.The tricky part is that it's been going on inside of me for about a year. The Lord is trying to get me ready for something. But then I have a bad day, like today, and I think, "So you really think that you want more stewardship? You really think you want greater and more in your life? You can't even handle what is going on in your life right now! How could you think that you ready for that?"But I have to believe that I'm feeling all of this because I am being led. I have valuable things to share with the world. And yes there are so many voices out there right now and the road is going to be rocky and there will be critics and there will be stumbling blocks... but you know what? It is my time. The Lord is telling me that. It is my time. It is time for me to notice and go out and do. It is time for me to feel the personal vision and message that I have to give to the world. It is time for that. I have a message that is mine to give. And only the Lord can give it to me. No amount of reading will lead me there. No amount of study. No amount of social media. No amount of distraction. Only a download from the heavens will help me to get to that place of what is coming. Only a download from above will show me the right way. No comparing. Only a download from the spirit will lead me in my message, in my voice and in my mission. I have to be quiet in my heart as much as I can so I get detoxed from everything else that is being thrown at me, or that I feel that 'I could do'. You know what? It is true that there are so many things I "could" do. I am one of those people. I could take on so many various things and be good at it. That is something that the Lord has given me. Many talents. And my talents will be used in His kingdom. Many blessings have been given me to me and much is required. BUT.Just because "I could" do so many things... doesn't me it's mine to do. There is a "mine" to do that the Lord has for me. There is a "mine" to do that is ONLY MINE, and no one else. Only my message and my mission. Only I can do it. That is why I'm being still and away from social media and other media right now. I can't hear what other people are saying right now. I need to only hear what the Lord has for me. I need to only listen for HIm. I know that is one reason why I had such a hard day today. My soul is detoxing from comparison. My soul is detoxing from expectations. My soul is detoxing from what "I could" be doing. Just because I could, doesn't mean it's mine to do. I have a unique voice. I have a unique message. The Lord will give it to me when my mind, heart and gut are cleared.  I know that is why I'm eating like crazy right now. I'm feeling so much. There is so much. It is so big. And it isn't just about me. It's about Brent too. It's not about me trying to do all of this on my own. it is about US. We are doing it together. Together. He will be shown the way as well. Lead us. Guide Us. Walk Beside us Lord. Show us the way. We are imperfect servants. But we are still here. Arms out. Show us. Forgive our weaknesses. I am stretching. Oh, I am feeling the stretch. I am feeling the stretch. You ahve it for me. I can do this with You at my side. Show me. 
It won't let me get rid of the underline! I will work on it another day when I'm not getting super tired.