The Happy Mom Doesn't Have To Mean The Fun Mom

Dear Kids,

Something that the spirit told me that I needed to write down is this:

Being a happy mom has nothing to do with being "the fun" mom.

I already wrote about how hard "doing mothering" was for me today. One of the self destructive thoughts I got into is that I wasn't being "the fun mom"... and so often I am not.

But then the phrase came to my mind of, "Your kids don't want a perfect mom, they want a happy one."

Being "the happy mom" has nothing to do with being fun all the time. It has everything to do with smiling at them when they are doing something. Looking in their eyes when they ask a question. Being present with them and listening.

I don't have time to just play with them. I really don't. I wish I did. But you know what, there is crap to get done. There is laundry to do, dishes to get done, food to make, appointments to make, books to write, school to plan, piles to pick up, lemonade stands to help with... all the 'things'.

But I can do all those things with a smile. I can be happy. I can choose joy. I can choose eye contact during the midst of it.

When I need to set a boundary I can do that with love in my heart. I can.

When I need to lay down for 30 minutes, I can request that with a smile and love. I can.

When I need to do mom jobs and I can't go and do anything I want to, I can do it with love and not frustration. I can.

It's easy to realize that as a mother you lose your smile. I have lost my smile with my kids. I have. So often I realize halfway through the day that I haven't really smiled at them yet that day. I gave smiles to neighbors or dog owners or the store attendant... but not to my own kids.

That's all they want. They just want my smiles. They want my hugs. They want my joy.

Motherhood is draining. It's draining me to my core so often. So why would I choose to stay here and do this? I could go out and get a REALLY good paying job. I could. We wouldn't have to be so strapped financially if I did that. I could get a nanny. I could delegate everything out. I could do that.

But every time I think about going down that route I am stopped. No.

I am choosing to be here. I am choosing this. So I can choose to be happy inside of it. I am not a victim in my motherhood choices. I am not going to be stuck in "mom martyrdom". Yes, it's difficult. What do I expect? These are some of the most powerful souls on the earth. Of course it's going to stretch me to my core. Of course Satan is going to attack every part of my soul while I am mothering these children. Of course he is going to send as many doubts my way as possible until i feel like "I can't do this anymore!". What do I expect?

Smiles. The happy mom. Not the perfect mom. But a mom who smiles. Not the constant playing mom. But a mom who listens. Not the "shove everything else off because we only live once with these little kids" mom. But a mom who makes eye contact and hugs in the midst of the laundry.

Oh. Yes. I can be that mom. I can be happy. Just keep it simple.

I love you,

Your Mom