Attacks, Constant Attacks and Looking at Evidences

Dear Kids,

So part of this spiritual learning are the ups and downs that come with it. I have been in a total funk!

It's fascinating to see how Satan plays with thoughts, desires, emotions, and all of it. I have been attacked like crazy!

"You are making this up"
"It is all in your mind"
"None of this is working"
"This doesn't matter, just stop"
"No good is coming from the energy work"
"Energy work isn't real"
"Picturing light transferring does absolutely nothing"
"How could you ever think you could heal people"
"It's not making any difference"
"Your kids aren't being protected"
"Angels aren't doing any real work"
"All there is is the physical realm"
"When you see Jesus in your mind's eye, it isn't really Him. He wouldn't come to you"
"The success of the greenhouses has nothing to do your work, it all has to do with what's happening with the market"
"Nothing you do is making a difference for anyone"
"Jesus doesn't need to come to you everyday. He has other things to do"

Oh my goodness.... I have been attacked like crazy. Enough that when I sit down to meditate I just don't even know if I should.

All I need to do is look at the evidences to see all these thoughts are the ACTUAL lies. Evidences that I've seen:

-I miss Jesus. I haven't communicated with Him directly for a few weeks. I don't have the same character capabilities as when I was.
-He was visiting me EVERYDAY and I miss having Him near me.
-I had so much more patience and perspective with my kids. SO MUCH MORE.
-My body was doing better, my stomach wasn't bothering me as much.
-I had excitement about doing my everyday tasks, they all had a higher purpose. Now, without that perspective they are just mundane and I don't want to do them at all.
-Brent was having (and still is) immense success with greenhouses and work, consistent work. I can see that the Lord knew (obviously) what was going to happen and was preparing us for this change in the market and what it would mean with how we can apply our skills to help people.
-The kids were so much more kind, not as much anger when I was blessing them spiritually everyday. Elijah was so much happier.
-I was happier when I was having immense spiritual experiences... that was a HUGE evidence, just that my capabilities were expanding so much.
-I was keeping up with my home.
-I was having personal direction everyday with how to use my time. Now, without the spiritual capacity I am feeling so much more aimless.
-My heart was able to help people around me. I didn't feel as overwhelmed.

It is fascinating to see all the differences. I can't believe how much I've been attacked. which helps me know more and more that we are on the right path! I can't go back to not doing this. I have to keep on this path. And it isn't just meditation... it is having spiritual experiences with my Savior, that He cares for me enough to see me everyday, anyway that I need Him. it is amazing to see the difference without that support. I must have His support! And I've allowed for openings in our protection around our home.

So... onward and upward. We have committed to each other again (your dad and I) to meditate 6 days a week - especially during the show. We can't let it go. We can't let it down. Anytime I really take it to the spirit to ask whether or not this is important to keep in our lives, every time the spirit literally shakes me, "Don't you quit!!! Don't you give up on this path! Don't let up!".

I had a meditation last night that was a bit better. I was able to find the space in my minds eye again. I didn't have a visit, but that's okay - because I could feel my spirit connecting to everything around me again. And already, another evidence, my capability today is already so much better, my perspective is so much better and able to handle the attacks of the day. And the meditation experience I had was just super simple.

I love you kids. I can't give up on this path of my Godhood! This is all part of it.

I love you,

Your Mom