Dear Kids,
There is a false sense of obligation for many people that comes along with the "New Year". This obligation = Resolutions.
I have quite a few friends who are already joking about making goals (and I quote), "Well, I guess I better sit down and make my New Year Resolutions so I can just break them in a couple of weeks."
Now, before I start to tell you my opinion about this, let me first clarify that I think working on being a better person is very important. Part of the reason why we are here on this earth is for self mastery.
However, I have a different opinion than most people do about how to get to self mastery. Might not be right for some people, but it works really well for me. I believe instead of trying to constantly set new goals and then breaking them (which starts a horrible and destructive self criticism cycle), it is more important to look at what I have ALREADY accomplished.
At the beginning of this 2014 year, I am enjoying what I accomplished for 2013. Looking at this list of what I HAVE accomplished, how I have grown from it, what I have learned, and especially how the Lord's grace has helped me along the way, it gives me SO MUCH more motivation to go into 2014 with high hopes.
Here is some of my "Accomplished" list:
-Moved to a new area. I have met new friends, have wonderful new neighbors, my kids have great friends.
-Lost a lot of my baby weight! I ate raw for a month, put a group together and helped other people while I worked on this.
-Loved my kids. There were many times of irritation, but I did my best with being their mom this year, loving them and teaching them. They are amazing people and souls. I prayed with them, I hugged them, I laughed with them.
-Loved my husband. We grew closer together, we are talking even more now than we did when we were dating.
-Prayed for grace and deliverance all the time to make up for my weaknesses. My relationship with the Lord went to another level.
-Started a new business. Signed our first client before our website was even live!
-Served my family for a month during the summer. Was able to get my natural medicine cabinet made and educated myself more on being Dr. Mom.
When I go through all my pictures from the year and take inventory of what HAS happened and what I HAVE done, then I have the courage and excitement to face this new year. I give myself permission to say,"I don't need just a few New Year's resolutions to make myself feel like this year is going to be great! I just need to look back at the past year and see that my life IS GREAT."
This is what I want you to remember throughout your life... Look at what you ARE doing, not what you are "supposed" to be doing. Look at the people you ARE loving, not those you haven't been able to. Look at the good habits you ALREADY have, not those you don't. Look at the talents you ARE giving to those around you, not wishing for something that is someone else's talent.
The New Year is about patting yourself on the back. It is about being excited to grow a little more, to be a little better...Then when you look back you will see (through the help of the Lord) that you didn't just grow a little, you grew tremendously . You didn't just become a little better, you became much better. A few New Year resolutions aren't going to lead you to self mastery, what you ARE DOING now is how that is happening.
What you focus on expands. Good or bad. Focusing on what you have accomplished will give you more energy to do even more.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
How Can Homosexuality & Christianity Work? Come Ask My Family.
Dear Kids,
A few recent happenings in the media have brought up A LOT of heated emotions about homosexuality and Christianity. I wish EVERYONE telling their opinions on each side could have a view of our family about 20 years ago.
While I was a teenager in a small town of Idaho the news came out that I had two uncles who were gay. If the world thinks it is a big deal to "come out" now, well you should have seen the world about 20 years ago. These uncles are my dad's, your Papa's, brothers.
The upheaval that happened in our family, from my teenage lenses of the world, was just crazy. The news came out in the small town's newspaper and TV media about my uncles, but didn't name them specifically. My grandparents told their story and their opinions on the matter. I even remember in church one day being by my dad and having someone say to him, "So are you one of the those who are gay?"
Needless to say, our family learned years ago about the hate that can come up because of this argument. Maybe that is why I am just quiet a lot of times when my friends debate over which side is right and which side isn't. It's also why I think it is ridiculous for the cyber world to be so hateful on BOTH sides of the equation. It's because our family had to go through the processing much earlier than most people, and because of that I am very firmly rooted in my beliefs about it all.
But the point is...
It is interesting to look back and see the ebb's and flow's inside of the family's dynamics. A little "mini example" of what the world is doing with it right now. There were times of fighting. There were times of loving. There were times of acceptance. There were times of debate. There were times of major denial. There were times of tears. There were many times of confusion and trying to understand how to handle it all. Your Papa had countless family meetings with all of us about the whole thing. We read scriptures, we debated, we talked, we tried to sort it all out.
I wish the world could have a look at our family now. We love each other. We accept each other. BUT we don't always agree with each other. Everyone in our family has VERY different opinions on the philosophical, political and religious discussions about homosexuality and Christianity. Believe me, we have covered them ALL. But you know what matters 20 years later?
What matters is that I hug everyone in my family no matter what opinions they have and how different their opinions are from mine, and they hug me back. What matters is my dad speaks highly of his family, no matter what their beliefs are and if they are in line with his or not. What matters is that my grandparents have done the best job they know how to keep their family together.
What matters is no matter how liberal or conservative our views are, and there are VAST opinions around our extended family dinner table, in the end our hearts are open to each other. We have come to the point where we KNOW our different opinions on the subject, and there is no more room for debate. There is only room for love and moving on with our lives.
I believe it is a miracle that my father's family is intact and love each other. There is a big difference between how "Cyber Life" treats this subject and "Real Life" treats it. Our family has proven this is the case. We make it work. We treat each other as Christ would.
So, kids, remember that I love you. In our family we will teach you the principles that we believe about this whole issue, and then you will get your free agency to do the same.
I love you,
Your Mom
A few recent happenings in the media have brought up A LOT of heated emotions about homosexuality and Christianity. I wish EVERYONE telling their opinions on each side could have a view of our family about 20 years ago.
While I was a teenager in a small town of Idaho the news came out that I had two uncles who were gay. If the world thinks it is a big deal to "come out" now, well you should have seen the world about 20 years ago. These uncles are my dad's, your Papa's, brothers.
The upheaval that happened in our family, from my teenage lenses of the world, was just crazy. The news came out in the small town's newspaper and TV media about my uncles, but didn't name them specifically. My grandparents told their story and their opinions on the matter. I even remember in church one day being by my dad and having someone say to him, "So are you one of the those who are gay?"
Needless to say, our family learned years ago about the hate that can come up because of this argument. Maybe that is why I am just quiet a lot of times when my friends debate over which side is right and which side isn't. It's also why I think it is ridiculous for the cyber world to be so hateful on BOTH sides of the equation. It's because our family had to go through the processing much earlier than most people, and because of that I am very firmly rooted in my beliefs about it all.
But the point is...
It is interesting to look back and see the ebb's and flow's inside of the family's dynamics. A little "mini example" of what the world is doing with it right now. There were times of fighting. There were times of loving. There were times of acceptance. There were times of debate. There were times of major denial. There were times of tears. There were many times of confusion and trying to understand how to handle it all. Your Papa had countless family meetings with all of us about the whole thing. We read scriptures, we debated, we talked, we tried to sort it all out.
I wish the world could have a look at our family now. We love each other. We accept each other. BUT we don't always agree with each other. Everyone in our family has VERY different opinions on the philosophical, political and religious discussions about homosexuality and Christianity. Believe me, we have covered them ALL. But you know what matters 20 years later?
What matters is that I hug everyone in my family no matter what opinions they have and how different their opinions are from mine, and they hug me back. What matters is my dad speaks highly of his family, no matter what their beliefs are and if they are in line with his or not. What matters is that my grandparents have done the best job they know how to keep their family together.
What matters is no matter how liberal or conservative our views are, and there are VAST opinions around our extended family dinner table, in the end our hearts are open to each other. We have come to the point where we KNOW our different opinions on the subject, and there is no more room for debate. There is only room for love and moving on with our lives.
I believe it is a miracle that my father's family is intact and love each other. There is a big difference between how "Cyber Life" treats this subject and "Real Life" treats it. Our family has proven this is the case. We make it work. We treat each other as Christ would.
So, kids, remember that I love you. In our family we will teach you the principles that we believe about this whole issue, and then you will get your free agency to do the same.
I love you,
Your Mom
Friday, December 20, 2013
I Just Want A Hug
Dear Gabriel,
You came out of quiet time today a little bit early. You just stood and looked at me. I asked,"Do you need anything? A book? A blanket?"
Then you said, "No, I just want a hug."
I opened my arms extended to you, and you ran to me.
You have to understand that this is a great moment because you are NOT a touchy boy. You don't like it when I try and stroke your back. You don't like it when I try and cuddle with you. Physical touch is not your love language. So to be able to hug you and just hug you some more while you sat on my lap, that is a pretty good day.
I love you, and you can always ask me for a hug.
Your Mom
You came out of quiet time today a little bit early. You just stood and looked at me. I asked,"Do you need anything? A book? A blanket?"
Then you said, "No, I just want a hug."
I opened my arms extended to you, and you ran to me.
You have to understand that this is a great moment because you are NOT a touchy boy. You don't like it when I try and stroke your back. You don't like it when I try and cuddle with you. Physical touch is not your love language. So to be able to hug you and just hug you some more while you sat on my lap, that is a pretty good day.
I love you, and you can always ask me for a hug.
Your Mom
I Am Special, Because I'm Great
Dear Natalia,
Do you want to know what makes me super happy? Hearing you singing, in your room, by yourself and with your own melody, these words:
"I am special, because I'm great. Jesus loves me. I am talented and my life is awesome. My brother sometimes hits me, but I still love him and my baby Elijah takes my things, but I can share."
You are singing this over and over again, especially the first line,"I am special, because I'm great. Jesus loves me."
Just keep up singing those words. You are special. You are great. And Jesus does love you. Remember those things in your life, and you will pretty much do wonderfully.
I love you,
Your Mom
Do you want to know what makes me super happy? Hearing you singing, in your room, by yourself and with your own melody, these words:
"I am special, because I'm great. Jesus loves me. I am talented and my life is awesome. My brother sometimes hits me, but I still love him and my baby Elijah takes my things, but I can share."
You are singing this over and over again, especially the first line,"I am special, because I'm great. Jesus loves me."
Just keep up singing those words. You are special. You are great. And Jesus does love you. Remember those things in your life, and you will pretty much do wonderfully.
I love you,
Your Mom
Christmas Confessions
Dear Kids,
Christmas Truth Time =
I don't do Christmas cards. Why? Because I was standing over a table full of cards (about 5 years ago) and I started crying because I had no idea how to get all the addresses of people that I was 'supposed' to send cards to for them to be on time. I asked myself, "Am I sending these cards because I am 'supposed' to? Or because I really want to?"
I had my answer. I was doing it out of social pressure. So I quit.
I don't do fancy neighbor gifts. There have been many seasons when I have slaved over making gifts that were so cute, so creative, so imaginative. A couple Christmas's ago I had a friend give me a simple chocolate orange with a heart felt letter. Her words meant more to me than anything she could have made.
I had my answer. No more fancy things that people won't remember who it came from. Now I do simple, as simple as possible (chocolate oranges are my favorite) and I give VERY sincere hugs and words with it.
I don't do hustle and bustle of shopping. I go to stores and do my shopping at 10pm once, maybe twice, and get it all done in a big spree. I don't do guilt of what I am 'supposed' to be doing at Christmas. I don't decorate every room. I don't do crazy fancy things counting down. I don't do every Christmas party.
I do sing Christmas carols with you every night, accapella, while we snuggle. I do read one Christmas story every night before bed. I do leave surprises from "Candy Cane Charlie" (our elf - but only little surprises like a pez dispenser with a note that says, "You are amazing, love CCC"). I do talk about Christ while we sit and look at our tree. I do let you watch a Christmas movie everyday. I do service for one family we choose each year. I do LOVE watching bright eyes on Christmas morning.
In our home, I have vowed to not allow myself to be crazy this time of year. If I don't feel like doing something, I don't. If I feel like I am "supposed" to do something, I don't. If I feel a sincere desire and burning in my heart to go talk to my neighbor and give them a Christmas hug, I do. If I feel a sincere desire to make fun cookies, I do. If I feel a sincere desire to hang out in my pajamas all day, I do. December is for our family to be closer and for the rest of the world to fade away.
That is the Christmas Truth in our home.
I love you,
Your Mom
Christmas Truth Time =
I don't do Christmas cards. Why? Because I was standing over a table full of cards (about 5 years ago) and I started crying because I had no idea how to get all the addresses of people that I was 'supposed' to send cards to for them to be on time. I asked myself, "Am I sending these cards because I am 'supposed' to? Or because I really want to?"
I had my answer. I was doing it out of social pressure. So I quit.
I don't do fancy neighbor gifts. There have been many seasons when I have slaved over making gifts that were so cute, so creative, so imaginative. A couple Christmas's ago I had a friend give me a simple chocolate orange with a heart felt letter. Her words meant more to me than anything she could have made.
I had my answer. No more fancy things that people won't remember who it came from. Now I do simple, as simple as possible (chocolate oranges are my favorite) and I give VERY sincere hugs and words with it.
I don't do hustle and bustle of shopping. I go to stores and do my shopping at 10pm once, maybe twice, and get it all done in a big spree. I don't do guilt of what I am 'supposed' to be doing at Christmas. I don't decorate every room. I don't do crazy fancy things counting down. I don't do every Christmas party.
I do sing Christmas carols with you every night, accapella, while we snuggle. I do read one Christmas story every night before bed. I do leave surprises from "Candy Cane Charlie" (our elf - but only little surprises like a pez dispenser with a note that says, "You are amazing, love CCC"). I do talk about Christ while we sit and look at our tree. I do let you watch a Christmas movie everyday. I do service for one family we choose each year. I do LOVE watching bright eyes on Christmas morning.
In our home, I have vowed to not allow myself to be crazy this time of year. If I don't feel like doing something, I don't. If I feel like I am "supposed" to do something, I don't. If I feel a sincere desire and burning in my heart to go talk to my neighbor and give them a Christmas hug, I do. If I feel a sincere desire to make fun cookies, I do. If I feel a sincere desire to hang out in my pajamas all day, I do. December is for our family to be closer and for the rest of the world to fade away.
That is the Christmas Truth in our home.
I love you,
Your Mom
Friday, December 13, 2013
Updates with Natalia
Dear Natalia,
I love your capacity. At three years old you are doing and saying things like this (with these kind of full sentences):
"Mom, I will put those away (the silverware)."
"Gabe, don't worry, I will get your coat."
"Mom, Elijah has something in his mouth, will you get it please?"
I mention, "Gabe you need to get your shoes!" and then YOU go get them and place his shoes in front of him.
"But mom, we need to say personal prayers! Right now!"
There are so many things you do and say that just amaze me. You are 3 going on 30. Seriously. I am excited to see what you are going to do in your life.
You are strong. You have come here with natural self esteem. You are going to rock the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
I love your capacity. At three years old you are doing and saying things like this (with these kind of full sentences):
"Mom, I will put those away (the silverware)."
"Gabe, don't worry, I will get your coat."
"Mom, Elijah has something in his mouth, will you get it please?"
I mention, "Gabe you need to get your shoes!" and then YOU go get them and place his shoes in front of him.
"But mom, we need to say personal prayers! Right now!"
There are so many things you do and say that just amaze me. You are 3 going on 30. Seriously. I am excited to see what you are going to do in your life.
You are strong. You have come here with natural self esteem. You are going to rock the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
Mom Is The Place
Dear Elijah,
Tonight you went to a friends house while your dad and I took your siblings on a date to a movie.
When we got back to the house to pick you up, as soon as you saw me you started to cry and walk as fast as your little legs to carry you to my arms. The girl babysitting said, "Andrea, I promise he has been just fine the whole time until seeing you!"
Feedback like this used to bother me, until a little while ago.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mom (your Mimi). Something similar happened with Natalia, when she was with someone else and was fine until she saw me. Then she just cried and had to have hug after hug.
After telling Mimi of this situation and trying to figure out why that happened, she said, "Oh, can I tell you something? It never goes away. Look what you are doing right now! You are expressing your emotion to me and needing as much feedback as possible. How many times has something happened to you as an adult and you act just fine until you talk to mom about it? How often do you stay strong until the moment that you talk to mom and break down and cry? It doesn't stop, I assure you."
It is true! I used to feel like if my kids are fine until they see me, and then they cry, that something was wrong. But I have changed my opinion about that. It just means that mom is the safe place. Mom is the place to cry. Mom is the place to lean on. Mom is the place to emotionally throw up. Mom is the place for all of that.
So, I am sure this will happen with you again. But that is okay. Because mom is the place where you can go.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tonight you went to a friends house while your dad and I took your siblings on a date to a movie.
When we got back to the house to pick you up, as soon as you saw me you started to cry and walk as fast as your little legs to carry you to my arms. The girl babysitting said, "Andrea, I promise he has been just fine the whole time until seeing you!"
Feedback like this used to bother me, until a little while ago.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mom (your Mimi). Something similar happened with Natalia, when she was with someone else and was fine until she saw me. Then she just cried and had to have hug after hug.
After telling Mimi of this situation and trying to figure out why that happened, she said, "Oh, can I tell you something? It never goes away. Look what you are doing right now! You are expressing your emotion to me and needing as much feedback as possible. How many times has something happened to you as an adult and you act just fine until you talk to mom about it? How often do you stay strong until the moment that you talk to mom and break down and cry? It doesn't stop, I assure you."
So, I am sure this will happen with you again. But that is okay. Because mom is the place where you can go.
I love you,
Your Mom
The Nativity Was Cancelled
Dear Gabriel,
Your soft heart is amazing to me.
Tonight we were supposed to go and actually be in a live nativity production. I had been telling you about it all day. I told you we were going to be part of "telling the story of Jesus to people". I described being on stage and we were going to be together for it all. You were so excited about it and kept talking about "telling the story of Jesus".
As we were heading out the door we got a call telling us it was cancelled. There was a line that broke close to the stage and there were terrible ice problems that couldn't be fixed before the production.
When I knelt and told you about it you just looked at me and started to tear up. With your perfect expressions of feeling in your eyes you said, "But mom... I have to tell the story of Jesus!" You collapsed in my arms and just cried for about 10 minutes. You were heart broken!
I let you cry and talk to me about it. I told you again what happened and tried to describe it so your five year old mind could understand it all.
It was just amazing to me how significant it all was to you. It was such an amazing reminder of how important things are to children! To me as an adult, I find out something like this and I am sad, but I move on pretty quickly. But remembering what it means to you and your tender heart... Such a great reminder of making sure to remember your viewpoint of the importance of little things.
I love you and your tender heart so much. It will be a great asset to you as you grow and grow.
Your Mom
Your soft heart is amazing to me.
Tonight we were supposed to go and actually be in a live nativity production. I had been telling you about it all day. I told you we were going to be part of "telling the story of Jesus to people". I described being on stage and we were going to be together for it all. You were so excited about it and kept talking about "telling the story of Jesus".
As we were heading out the door we got a call telling us it was cancelled. There was a line that broke close to the stage and there were terrible ice problems that couldn't be fixed before the production.
When I knelt and told you about it you just looked at me and started to tear up. With your perfect expressions of feeling in your eyes you said, "But mom... I have to tell the story of Jesus!" You collapsed in my arms and just cried for about 10 minutes. You were heart broken!
I let you cry and talk to me about it. I told you again what happened and tried to describe it so your five year old mind could understand it all.
It was just amazing to me how significant it all was to you. It was such an amazing reminder of how important things are to children! To me as an adult, I find out something like this and I am sad, but I move on pretty quickly. But remembering what it means to you and your tender heart... Such a great reminder of making sure to remember your viewpoint of the importance of little things.
I love you and your tender heart so much. It will be a great asset to you as you grow and grow.
Your Mom
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Juggling
Dear Kids,
I have had quite a few friends either mention this frustration or talk with me about it lately. Holidays ALWAYS bring these thoughts and feelings on because of extra stuff that needs to be done. The frustration is this:
How do you get everything done? Please tell me how you stay organized, calm, and remain "in balance"!
Here is the truth: I don't. And I don't believe anyone does.
Here is the challenge: Being able to embrace "juggling" life and not be hard on yourself when life tends to be crazy.
I had a great chance to be mentored by Elder Bednar about this very thing a while ago. He is the most organized and accomplished man I have personally ever met and known. Someone asked him in a group once how he was able to "balance" everything so perfectly. He LAUGHED OUT LOUD.
He looked at that person and just said, "There is no such thing as balancing everything perfectly. You have to get rid of that false expectation. It does not exist. Think of life like juggling. You are throwing balls in the air and catching them over and over again. What I have found that works for me is to focus on catching the ball that is dropping, give my energy to what that is and then when it is on the up swing and in the air again I let it go and leave it alone. Then focus on the next ball that is dropping...
"Just remember that your relationship with the Lord is NEVER one of those balls that you are juggling. Your relationship with the Lord is your hands."
I think about this counsel often when I experience days that are unbalanced, stressful, hard, and pushing me to my limits. Have I truly taken the time to have a strong relationship with my Father? Most of the time I find, for me anyway, when I am going crazy, that it is my hands that need the work. Once they are strong, then I know exactly how to handle juggling the balls and where to focus first.
You are all great examples to me of keeping my soul alive. You live in your soul everyday, so when I stop and take a breath of your perfect spirits, then I remember how to have a true relationship with God. We are all children in His eyes and He is always ready to hug and love us when our days are crazy.
I love you,
Your Mom
I have had quite a few friends either mention this frustration or talk with me about it lately. Holidays ALWAYS bring these thoughts and feelings on because of extra stuff that needs to be done. The frustration is this:
How do you get everything done? Please tell me how you stay organized, calm, and remain "in balance"!
Here is the truth: I don't. And I don't believe anyone does.
Here is the challenge: Being able to embrace "juggling" life and not be hard on yourself when life tends to be crazy.
I had a great chance to be mentored by Elder Bednar about this very thing a while ago. He is the most organized and accomplished man I have personally ever met and known. Someone asked him in a group once how he was able to "balance" everything so perfectly. He LAUGHED OUT LOUD.
He looked at that person and just said, "There is no such thing as balancing everything perfectly. You have to get rid of that false expectation. It does not exist. Think of life like juggling. You are throwing balls in the air and catching them over and over again. What I have found that works for me is to focus on catching the ball that is dropping, give my energy to what that is and then when it is on the up swing and in the air again I let it go and leave it alone. Then focus on the next ball that is dropping...
"Just remember that your relationship with the Lord is NEVER one of those balls that you are juggling. Your relationship with the Lord is your hands."
I think about this counsel often when I experience days that are unbalanced, stressful, hard, and pushing me to my limits. Have I truly taken the time to have a strong relationship with my Father? Most of the time I find, for me anyway, when I am going crazy, that it is my hands that need the work. Once they are strong, then I know exactly how to handle juggling the balls and where to focus first.
You are all great examples to me of keeping my soul alive. You live in your soul everyday, so when I stop and take a breath of your perfect spirits, then I remember how to have a true relationship with God. We are all children in His eyes and He is always ready to hug and love us when our days are crazy.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Lessons From Stressful Days
Dear Kids,
I am irritated with all of you today. Not proud of it. But it is the truth.
Today was a hard mom day. I allowed everything to irritate me from the time I woke up. I feel like I have so much piling up around me. I don't have time to get everything done. I was irritated with everything around me, especially all of you, because with everything going on the last thing I was able to cope with were three little kids shouting at me all day long. I have eight loads of laundry to fold. I have dishes piled up in the sink. I need to desperately clean the toilets before something grows and jumps out of them. I have to write a couple articles. I need to follow up on some client work. Holiday to-dos are starting to stare me in the face.
But, most of all, I just need to calm down and breathe a little bit. All of you reacted to my "state of being". You have been disobedient and testing my buttons constantly. Everything you have done today has been in reaction to my emotional state. As the saying goes, "Mom is the heart of the home". I believe that. When my heart beats with irritations or fears, our home beats with them as well. When my heart beats with love and happiness, our home beats with them.
I firmly believe in the principle that I AFFECT MY ATMOSPHERE. I am in charge of what I feel, think and do.
So tonight I did what any logical parent does at the end of a long day and put on a movie for you. I thought I better find the lesson inside of all the emotion today.
I have not been putting first things first. Because of this I have not had a full bucket to draw from in order to react with love and happiness. My soul hasn't been fed really well for a while. I need to eat better. I haven't been going to bed on time for quite a few nights. I haven't been 'on my game' for a couple of weeks. It is time to do some 'soul inventory' and readjust a bit.
The most important thing is that you feel my love. It doesn't matter how much is on my list. It doesn't matter how dirty my house is. It doesn't matter how much I need to do. The most important thing is LOVING YOU.
So tomorrow love is the first thing on my 'list'. Wake up with love. Make breakfast with love. Go to appointments with love. I know from experience that when I allow love in my heart instead of irritation, I get things done 10x as fast and efficient.
The lesson is: When I put first things first, there is a miracle that happens. The miracle is everything falls into place perfectly. Everything will get done with peace instead of anger or irritation.
The movie is almost over in the other room and I am preparing myself to have the energy I need to give you a bath and put you to bed... but with a smile on my face and love in my heart. Even with the hard day, I can and I am choosing to end it so you remember as you go to sleep that your mom kissed your cheek, snuggled with you and loved you.
Always put first things first! Always! It makes the biggest difference in your whole life and day.
Even when I am off my game - remember that I always love you.
Your Mom
I am irritated with all of you today. Not proud of it. But it is the truth.
Today was a hard mom day. I allowed everything to irritate me from the time I woke up. I feel like I have so much piling up around me. I don't have time to get everything done. I was irritated with everything around me, especially all of you, because with everything going on the last thing I was able to cope with were three little kids shouting at me all day long. I have eight loads of laundry to fold. I have dishes piled up in the sink. I need to desperately clean the toilets before something grows and jumps out of them. I have to write a couple articles. I need to follow up on some client work. Holiday to-dos are starting to stare me in the face.
But, most of all, I just need to calm down and breathe a little bit. All of you reacted to my "state of being". You have been disobedient and testing my buttons constantly. Everything you have done today has been in reaction to my emotional state. As the saying goes, "Mom is the heart of the home". I believe that. When my heart beats with irritations or fears, our home beats with them as well. When my heart beats with love and happiness, our home beats with them.
I firmly believe in the principle that I AFFECT MY ATMOSPHERE. I am in charge of what I feel, think and do.
So tonight I did what any logical parent does at the end of a long day and put on a movie for you. I thought I better find the lesson inside of all the emotion today.
I have not been putting first things first. Because of this I have not had a full bucket to draw from in order to react with love and happiness. My soul hasn't been fed really well for a while. I need to eat better. I haven't been going to bed on time for quite a few nights. I haven't been 'on my game' for a couple of weeks. It is time to do some 'soul inventory' and readjust a bit.
The most important thing is that you feel my love. It doesn't matter how much is on my list. It doesn't matter how dirty my house is. It doesn't matter how much I need to do. The most important thing is LOVING YOU.
So tomorrow love is the first thing on my 'list'. Wake up with love. Make breakfast with love. Go to appointments with love. I know from experience that when I allow love in my heart instead of irritation, I get things done 10x as fast and efficient.
The lesson is: When I put first things first, there is a miracle that happens. The miracle is everything falls into place perfectly. Everything will get done with peace instead of anger or irritation.
The movie is almost over in the other room and I am preparing myself to have the energy I need to give you a bath and put you to bed... but with a smile on my face and love in my heart. Even with the hard day, I can and I am choosing to end it so you remember as you go to sleep that your mom kissed your cheek, snuggled with you and loved you.
Always put first things first! Always! It makes the biggest difference in your whole life and day.
Even when I am off my game - remember that I always love you.
Your Mom
Sunday, November 24, 2013
My Vows For Thanksgiving
We take being grateful for things too lightly in our society.
This is the time of year to count our blessings, and I really do love the tradition. But my thoughts really take me to other parts of gratitude as well, and why aren't we living in gratitude all the time? Why is it so accepted to be grateful now at this time of year, but then forget it for the other 11 months? Here are a few gratitude questions, thoughts and vows from me to you:
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ~H.U. Westermayer
Are we really remembering the people who came before us? I have a bed and a wonderful home and shelter because of people who sacrificed who came before me. I promise I will not forget to teach you about their sacrifices.
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~G.K. Chesterton
I have legs to run! I have eyes to see! I have ears to hear! There are countless stories throughout time of people who have been in the most dire circumstances, but found gratitude and beauty in life simply because they still had legs and feet, eyes and ears, hands and health.
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser
We can say all we want with our mouths that we are grateful, but are we really? Are we really living gratefully? Or are we complaining more than we are thanking in our everyday speech? These are questions to ask ourselves as a family often. Are we saying we are grateful with our mouths, but in our hearts we are really not? Are we saying it and not really feeling it?
You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. ~Kahlil Gibran
So easy to pray for help. Are we praying in gratitude everyday as well? I promise that we will not go a day without having a prayer that is just full of gratitude.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I want you to remember to live in gratitude for everything. The best way to teach you = me living that way. I can do better saying, 'Thank You'. I can do better really being grateful for the hardships everyday. I can do better teaching myself to be truly grateful in my heart for the things that are really hard. It takes practice to be grateful for EVERYTHING in life.
We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick
We can say all we want that we are grateful for each other and that we are 'grateful for our family'. But are we truly loving each other everyday? Or do we get impatient with each other? Do we have contention too much with each other? Or are we reacting with love and with gratitude toward each other as our immediate reaction?
I love you.
Your Mom
Soul Slumps
Dear Kids,
I have a confession to make.
The last few weeks I have been horrible with my scripture study and my prayers.
The reason I want to confess this to you is because you need to know how easy it is for these little things to slip in your life. It is very easy to go a couple of days without really reading your scriptures and really feeding your soul. Life gets busier and busier.
But the other reason I want to confess this to you is for you to know what to do when this happens to you. Should you feel like an immense, horrible sinner when you slip into a 'scripture slump'? No. You shouldn't.
Does it mean I am completely off the path because I haven't read? No. Can I go completely off the path if I continue to allow this to happen? Yes. Life goes up and down, our ability to keep up on things goes up and down, and the most essential things are often what we start to put off the most.
But I will tell you that my soul can't adequately survive in this day and age without feeding it better. My soul is hungry, I can feel it after a couple weeks of a 'soul slump'. So it is time to hop up and get back in line. A temporary soul slump can lead to a life time of spiritual disconnection.
The lesson to learn is this: Recognize the soul slump. Know it must change. Then get up and change it.
Recognize and then act. It is pretty simple.
So I am confessing because it is easy to get into a slump, but it is also easy to get out of it as long as the acting part happens quickly so my soul isn't forever lost.
I love you,
Your Mom
I have a confession to make.
The last few weeks I have been horrible with my scripture study and my prayers.
The reason I want to confess this to you is because you need to know how easy it is for these little things to slip in your life. It is very easy to go a couple of days without really reading your scriptures and really feeding your soul. Life gets busier and busier.
But the other reason I want to confess this to you is for you to know what to do when this happens to you. Should you feel like an immense, horrible sinner when you slip into a 'scripture slump'? No. You shouldn't.
Does it mean I am completely off the path because I haven't read? No. Can I go completely off the path if I continue to allow this to happen? Yes. Life goes up and down, our ability to keep up on things goes up and down, and the most essential things are often what we start to put off the most.
But I will tell you that my soul can't adequately survive in this day and age without feeding it better. My soul is hungry, I can feel it after a couple weeks of a 'soul slump'. So it is time to hop up and get back in line. A temporary soul slump can lead to a life time of spiritual disconnection.
The lesson to learn is this: Recognize the soul slump. Know it must change. Then get up and change it.
Recognize and then act. It is pretty simple.
So I am confessing because it is easy to get into a slump, but it is also easy to get out of it as long as the acting part happens quickly so my soul isn't forever lost.
I love you,
Your Mom
Gratitude And What It Means
Dear Kids,
It is Thanksgiving this week, and of course the tradition is to talk about what I am grateful for.
I am having a hard time getting into this tradition this year... not because I am not grateful or don't feel gratitude, but because I don't know how to describe my blessings without feeling inadequate to the job.
How can I really describe, "I am grateful for my family"? It sounds so 'normal', and too 'common' when I say it like that. What I want to say is, "Is there anyway to stand on the top of the entire globe and shout with the whole feeling in my soul how I can hardly contain my emotions for my family? No! The feeling inside of my heart is too big to even begin to just say 'I am grateful for my family'".
Or how can I describe, "I am grateful for my health"? That also sounds too shallow, especially when I know I have no idea what it is like to have a life threatening disease, or have a family member who is constantly dealing with pain. I don't know what that is like. But I do know I am truly grateful for my health because I don't have to worry about those things.
Or how can it adequately be expressed the "I am grateful for my husband"? I live and breathe and love and grow everyday more because of him than anyone else in my life thus far. He is my soul, he connects with my spirit, he helps me to heal, he helps me to live and to love.
This word 'Gratitude' comes in so many forms to so many different people and so many different circumstances. I, for one, truly believe that it is because of our trials that we can even understand anything about the meaning of 'Gratitude'. That is the power of the law of opposites.
I can truly say that I am SO GRATEFUL for my husband because I was single and looking for him for so long. If I hadn't had the pain of what being single means, I wouldn't understand so fully the joy for being married. I can truly say that I am undeniably grateful for all of you, because I truly felt the pain of what is like to not have you in my life, as well as the pain it took to get you all here. I am so eternally grateful for my blessings - but they are so vast, so immense and so deep, there is no way that I can really express the depth of my gratitude.
Gratitude grows through life experiences. The more experiences I have, the deeper my gratitude grows. So know when I say at the Thanksgiving table, "I am so grateful for my life and my family" really the depth of what that means, and I pray that I can show my gratitude for you everyday of my life.
I love you,
Your Mom
It is Thanksgiving this week, and of course the tradition is to talk about what I am grateful for.
I am having a hard time getting into this tradition this year... not because I am not grateful or don't feel gratitude, but because I don't know how to describe my blessings without feeling inadequate to the job.
How can I really describe, "I am grateful for my family"? It sounds so 'normal', and too 'common' when I say it like that. What I want to say is, "Is there anyway to stand on the top of the entire globe and shout with the whole feeling in my soul how I can hardly contain my emotions for my family? No! The feeling inside of my heart is too big to even begin to just say 'I am grateful for my family'".
Or how can I describe, "I am grateful for my health"? That also sounds too shallow, especially when I know I have no idea what it is like to have a life threatening disease, or have a family member who is constantly dealing with pain. I don't know what that is like. But I do know I am truly grateful for my health because I don't have to worry about those things.
Or how can it adequately be expressed the "I am grateful for my husband"? I live and breathe and love and grow everyday more because of him than anyone else in my life thus far. He is my soul, he connects with my spirit, he helps me to heal, he helps me to live and to love.
This word 'Gratitude' comes in so many forms to so many different people and so many different circumstances. I, for one, truly believe that it is because of our trials that we can even understand anything about the meaning of 'Gratitude'. That is the power of the law of opposites.
I can truly say that I am SO GRATEFUL for my husband because I was single and looking for him for so long. If I hadn't had the pain of what being single means, I wouldn't understand so fully the joy for being married. I can truly say that I am undeniably grateful for all of you, because I truly felt the pain of what is like to not have you in my life, as well as the pain it took to get you all here. I am so eternally grateful for my blessings - but they are so vast, so immense and so deep, there is no way that I can really express the depth of my gratitude.
Gratitude grows through life experiences. The more experiences I have, the deeper my gratitude grows. So know when I say at the Thanksgiving table, "I am so grateful for my life and my family" really the depth of what that means, and I pray that I can show my gratitude for you everyday of my life.
I love you,
Your Mom
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Oh The Beauty Of Innocence
Dear Kids,
There have been a few friends who have been having issues with their older kids lately. I have been finding out about the struggles their teenagers are having with pornography, dating, chastity issues, drugs, alcohol... all the *major* choices that can affect someone for their whole life.
My heart just ACHES for them.
After some news again today, as soon as I got off the phone I just looked all three of you and wanted to freeze all of you. You are all so innocent, so sweet, so pure, so good.
Talia, you were putting on your boots to run across the street to be with your dad. You skipped along so happy to just be alive, wearing your cute pink boots, and humming a tune that you are 'so excited to hug' your daddy.
Gabe, you were on your 'walkie talkie' talking to your dad as he was across the street working on something. You were so excited to just be cool and talk on your walkie talkie, saying things like, "So how's it going dad?"... and "Yes, I can still see you, can you see me?"... and "Hey, dad, I can see a snail, he is going really slow".
Elijah, you were trying to walk, looking like a crazy alien with your arms waving sporadically in the air. Then falling down, looking up at me and smiling, and then trying again with determination.
I wanted to take that moment and just freeze you! No matter how hard it is to be a mom of young kids, no matter how exhausting it is... I can still protect you from everything out there. You aren't affected by all the filth and craziness of the world yet and how I wish it could just stay that way forever. I would much rather deal with the trials right now than the trials of when you really start to make the choices that really matter.
So I am soaking up all that I can from your perfect spirits right now, and how beautiful the innocence is that you have everyday. Remember, as you get older, that the world is harsh. There are hard choices, and sometimes you will fall. This free agency thing can be tough. But no matter what, the atonement of Christ will help you to get through it. Your mom will love you no matter what, and I will keep my arms around you as tight as I can for as long as you will let me.
I love you,
Your Mom
There have been a few friends who have been having issues with their older kids lately. I have been finding out about the struggles their teenagers are having with pornography, dating, chastity issues, drugs, alcohol... all the *major* choices that can affect someone for their whole life.
My heart just ACHES for them.
After some news again today, as soon as I got off the phone I just looked all three of you and wanted to freeze all of you. You are all so innocent, so sweet, so pure, so good.
Gabe, you were on your 'walkie talkie' talking to your dad as he was across the street working on something. You were so excited to just be cool and talk on your walkie talkie, saying things like, "So how's it going dad?"... and "Yes, I can still see you, can you see me?"... and "Hey, dad, I can see a snail, he is going really slow".
Elijah, you were trying to walk, looking like a crazy alien with your arms waving sporadically in the air. Then falling down, looking up at me and smiling, and then trying again with determination.
I wanted to take that moment and just freeze you! No matter how hard it is to be a mom of young kids, no matter how exhausting it is... I can still protect you from everything out there. You aren't affected by all the filth and craziness of the world yet and how I wish it could just stay that way forever. I would much rather deal with the trials right now than the trials of when you really start to make the choices that really matter.
So I am soaking up all that I can from your perfect spirits right now, and how beautiful the innocence is that you have everyday. Remember, as you get older, that the world is harsh. There are hard choices, and sometimes you will fall. This free agency thing can be tough. But no matter what, the atonement of Christ will help you to get through it. Your mom will love you no matter what, and I will keep my arms around you as tight as I can for as long as you will let me.
I love you,
Your Mom
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Different Perspective On Messes
Dear Elijah,
It is quite amazing to see the difference in my reaction to things with you, as the third child, compared to Gabe as the first.
Today was a great example.
I needed to make some cupcakes to deliver to a few people in our neighborhood. Gabe was at a friend's house, so just you and Talia were here. Talia wanted to be all hands on and help me with everything. You are always just happy to discover everything around you right now.
While I was pouring, helping Talia pour, mixing, helping Talia mix, adding ingredients, helping Talia add... you decided you wanted to have your own little party in the pantry.
Next thing I know I look up and you have taken all the kids stuff (which is on the bottom shelf, which will be changed soon :-)) and strewn it all over the pantry. And you are just having a blast doing it.
Now with Gabe I would have caught him trying to make the mess before it really happened. With Talia I would have gone immediately to get it cleaned up and move her to another location. With you my thought process was this (no joke, this is literally the first thing that came to my mind), while shrugging my shoulders, "He is happy and playing. Might as well let him stay occupied with that as long as possible!"
I totally get why parents will see their kids making messes and just let them do it. It is keeping them happy and entertained, let them do it! We can clean it up later.
So, good news is I got the cupcakes done, Talia had a great time helping me and you spent 40 minutes in the pantry playing with your mess! It was a win-win for everyone. Gabe even helped me clean it all up when he got home.
I love you,
Your Mom
It is quite amazing to see the difference in my reaction to things with you, as the third child, compared to Gabe as the first.
Today was a great example.
I needed to make some cupcakes to deliver to a few people in our neighborhood. Gabe was at a friend's house, so just you and Talia were here. Talia wanted to be all hands on and help me with everything. You are always just happy to discover everything around you right now.
While I was pouring, helping Talia pour, mixing, helping Talia mix, adding ingredients, helping Talia add... you decided you wanted to have your own little party in the pantry.
Next thing I know I look up and you have taken all the kids stuff (which is on the bottom shelf, which will be changed soon :-)) and strewn it all over the pantry. And you are just having a blast doing it.
Now with Gabe I would have caught him trying to make the mess before it really happened. With Talia I would have gone immediately to get it cleaned up and move her to another location. With you my thought process was this (no joke, this is literally the first thing that came to my mind), while shrugging my shoulders, "He is happy and playing. Might as well let him stay occupied with that as long as possible!"
So, good news is I got the cupcakes done, Talia had a great time helping me and you spent 40 minutes in the pantry playing with your mess! It was a win-win for everyone. Gabe even helped me clean it all up when he got home.
I love you,
Your Mom
The Elephant Circle
Dear Kids,
We watched a 'National-Geographic-Earth-Ocean-Animal' type movie this morning. James Earl Jones narrated it - which in my book means it was pretty cool. It went from the tropical rain forest in South America, to the deserts of Africa, to icebergs in the Atlantic, to penguins in Antarctica.
During one particular scene I found myself getting a little emotional. It was at night in the dry African desert. There was a herd of elephants who were making their way across their long journey to find water. During this particular night there was a pride of lions who were just waiting for their time to attack and kill their young.
Then James narrated with his ever so amazing voice, "During the moments of grave danger to their babies, elephants instinctively form a protective circle with their babies inside, being willing to take any blow from the lions in order to keep their precious ones safe. They will hold the circle and, using their mighty elephant strength, will stamp on, kick, push, and hit the lions while they attack. They do anything necessary to keep the circle intact."
How symbolic is that?
Elephants are us, your parents, family, friends and mentors. We really will keep a protective circle around you. We will do anything to protect you from the lions of this world getting you. I am not afraid to use all the strength I have to throw and beat any 'lion' that might try to come and harm you.
Yes, I may get bruised and scratched along the way. Your dad and your family who loves you will also receive those injuries... but they are injuries of love and protection, which only make you stronger and make me stronger.
The beauty of this is as you see us protecting you, in return, you will become those strong elephants who will create a protective circle around those who you love as well. You will learn to become brave, strong, wise and steady in fighting the lions of this world.
I love you,
Your Mom
We watched a 'National-Geographic-Earth-Ocean-Animal' type movie this morning. James Earl Jones narrated it - which in my book means it was pretty cool. It went from the tropical rain forest in South America, to the deserts of Africa, to icebergs in the Atlantic, to penguins in Antarctica.
During one particular scene I found myself getting a little emotional. It was at night in the dry African desert. There was a herd of elephants who were making their way across their long journey to find water. During this particular night there was a pride of lions who were just waiting for their time to attack and kill their young.
Then James narrated with his ever so amazing voice, "During the moments of grave danger to their babies, elephants instinctively form a protective circle with their babies inside, being willing to take any blow from the lions in order to keep their precious ones safe. They will hold the circle and, using their mighty elephant strength, will stamp on, kick, push, and hit the lions while they attack. They do anything necessary to keep the circle intact."
How symbolic is that?
Elephants are us, your parents, family, friends and mentors. We really will keep a protective circle around you. We will do anything to protect you from the lions of this world getting you. I am not afraid to use all the strength I have to throw and beat any 'lion' that might try to come and harm you.
Yes, I may get bruised and scratched along the way. Your dad and your family who loves you will also receive those injuries... but they are injuries of love and protection, which only make you stronger and make me stronger.
The beauty of this is as you see us protecting you, in return, you will become those strong elephants who will create a protective circle around those who you love as well. You will learn to become brave, strong, wise and steady in fighting the lions of this world.
I love you,
Your Mom
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Just Needed A Little Time
Dear Elijah,
Last night you woke up all of a sudden just screaming.
Dad went in and tried to comfort you and put you back down. You didn't like that at all. We didn't want to give you a bottle, because for the last couple of nights we have given you a bottle and we don't want to continue that habit.
So a little while I went in and took you and just snuggled in the chair and rocked you.
You snuggled into my shoulder. You would try to tell me something every once and awhile, looking up at me at the same time, and then you would place your head back down again. It was about 30 minutes of singing and snuggling. You didn't fall back asleep, but you settled down.
When I put you back down into your bed you went right to sleep. It was one of those moments when I could feel that you just needed to talk and you couldn't, so you wanted to be close for a little while. You weren't sick, you weren't physically aching, but you were emotionally and spiritually aching. Perhaps aching for home? I know you miss it up there.
It was wonderful time for me too because I realized how much I haven't taken the time to snuggle with you. It was so much easier with the other two being the oldest. But you haven't gotten that time with me.
So I promised myself I would snuggle with you and spend more specific time with you to fill up your bucket more. Just being a year old, and I can feel that is something I will need to be very aware of.
I love you,
Your Mom
Last night you woke up all of a sudden just screaming.
Dad went in and tried to comfort you and put you back down. You didn't like that at all. We didn't want to give you a bottle, because for the last couple of nights we have given you a bottle and we don't want to continue that habit.
So a little while I went in and took you and just snuggled in the chair and rocked you.
You snuggled into my shoulder. You would try to tell me something every once and awhile, looking up at me at the same time, and then you would place your head back down again. It was about 30 minutes of singing and snuggling. You didn't fall back asleep, but you settled down.
When I put you back down into your bed you went right to sleep. It was one of those moments when I could feel that you just needed to talk and you couldn't, so you wanted to be close for a little while. You weren't sick, you weren't physically aching, but you were emotionally and spiritually aching. Perhaps aching for home? I know you miss it up there.
It was wonderful time for me too because I realized how much I haven't taken the time to snuggle with you. It was so much easier with the other two being the oldest. But you haven't gotten that time with me.
So I promised myself I would snuggle with you and spend more specific time with you to fill up your bucket more. Just being a year old, and I can feel that is something I will need to be very aware of.
I love you,
Your Mom
Beauty, Three Pigs and Other Stories
Dear Gabriel,
My favorite thing that has been happening in our relationship lately is your request to snuggle with you at bed time.
Now, you are not a very touchy child. I try to hug you and touch you and most of the time you just brush me off. Physical touch is not a huge need for you (unlike your sister!). But for the last little while you have been requesting me to snuggle with you in your bed.
When we snuggle, most of the time you want me on one side of your bed and you are on the other. And then you just talk...and talk, and talk, and talk! You debrief your day, what happened to you, what you didn't like, why you got in trouble, what you liked, what you ate, who you played with, what you are worried about... all of it.
Well, tonight you told me all about a combination of different stories. It was about how Beauty and the Beast were with the Three Little Pigs and then Ariel came and swam in their lake while Woody and Buzz LightYear brought all their toys to play. Oh how I wish I had it recorded! Your imagination and mind right now are just going crazy.
You could have gone on and on about this for another couple of hours I think. But eventually you get to a point where you say, "Okay mom, you can get down. I am done snuggling now." It is so cute.
I had a little flash forward about the times in the future when you want to talk to me... and I hope that we can always have a relationship when you just want to talk and talk to me about what happened in your day.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
My favorite thing that has been happening in our relationship lately is your request to snuggle with you at bed time.
Now, you are not a very touchy child. I try to hug you and touch you and most of the time you just brush me off. Physical touch is not a huge need for you (unlike your sister!). But for the last little while you have been requesting me to snuggle with you in your bed.
When we snuggle, most of the time you want me on one side of your bed and you are on the other. And then you just talk...and talk, and talk, and talk! You debrief your day, what happened to you, what you didn't like, why you got in trouble, what you liked, what you ate, who you played with, what you are worried about... all of it.
Well, tonight you told me all about a combination of different stories. It was about how Beauty and the Beast were with the Three Little Pigs and then Ariel came and swam in their lake while Woody and Buzz LightYear brought all their toys to play. Oh how I wish I had it recorded! Your imagination and mind right now are just going crazy.
You could have gone on and on about this for another couple of hours I think. But eventually you get to a point where you say, "Okay mom, you can get down. I am done snuggling now." It is so cute.
I had a little flash forward about the times in the future when you want to talk to me... and I hope that we can always have a relationship when you just want to talk and talk to me about what happened in your day.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
Being Told What To Pray About
Dear Kids,
Yesterday I had a very profound experience that I want to share with you.
We have been trying to make businesses work for a few years now. You know all of this from previous entries. The up's and down's that have come with it - which are near to impossible to describe unless you have been through them. They are fabulous failures and very necessary for our growth.
Well, yesterday I knelt down in prayer and was asking for direction for our new projects getting off the ground. I was feeling overwhelmed by it all. I started to cry and just pleading with the Lord that these new ventures will work! We have tried and failed with so many things, the pain of projecting that into the future is too much to bear sometimes. I want to prepare myself for success and possible loss all at the same time.
Right in my the middle of my emotional upheaval, the spirit told me to pray specifically for angels to come and attend to me and your dad, those angels in our family from the past who have learned how to master finances and the laws of abundance. I was told to pray for those who have been waiting to mentor us and teach us how to do this.
So I prayed for exactly that. I asked for the angels to be around us who need to mentor us right now and who need to be right by our side while we build our lives and our successes. I prayed for those angels who have learned the laws of true abundance to be with us and teach our hearts and minds how to understand and accept that stewardship.
When I prayed for this I felt a very specific opening in the veil from an angel that hasn't been among our guardian angels before. I don't know how to exactly describe it, but there was someone there who was just waiting for us to be ready for him to be there. Definitely a man, I don't know who's line he is from, but he has been prepared to mentor us through our lives with finances and abundance specifically.
It was an amazing experience! I felt him come into the room by me, and then I prayed very hard for him to be mostly by Brent. In that moment I saw in my mind's eye that he went to where Brent was and he put is hand on Brent's shoulder.
I told your dad about this when he came home.
I am curious to see how we are going to be taught and I am also very humbled to have this experience. I am not told very often to specifically pray for very specific blessings like that, so I consider it an honor that we were ready for our angel of abundance to be introduced in our lives.
I love you! Remember that you will be told what to pray for in your prayers, especially when you most need it.
Your Mom
Yesterday I had a very profound experience that I want to share with you.
We have been trying to make businesses work for a few years now. You know all of this from previous entries. The up's and down's that have come with it - which are near to impossible to describe unless you have been through them. They are fabulous failures and very necessary for our growth.
Well, yesterday I knelt down in prayer and was asking for direction for our new projects getting off the ground. I was feeling overwhelmed by it all. I started to cry and just pleading with the Lord that these new ventures will work! We have tried and failed with so many things, the pain of projecting that into the future is too much to bear sometimes. I want to prepare myself for success and possible loss all at the same time.
Right in my the middle of my emotional upheaval, the spirit told me to pray specifically for angels to come and attend to me and your dad, those angels in our family from the past who have learned how to master finances and the laws of abundance. I was told to pray for those who have been waiting to mentor us and teach us how to do this.
So I prayed for exactly that. I asked for the angels to be around us who need to mentor us right now and who need to be right by our side while we build our lives and our successes. I prayed for those angels who have learned the laws of true abundance to be with us and teach our hearts and minds how to understand and accept that stewardship.
When I prayed for this I felt a very specific opening in the veil from an angel that hasn't been among our guardian angels before. I don't know how to exactly describe it, but there was someone there who was just waiting for us to be ready for him to be there. Definitely a man, I don't know who's line he is from, but he has been prepared to mentor us through our lives with finances and abundance specifically.
It was an amazing experience! I felt him come into the room by me, and then I prayed very hard for him to be mostly by Brent. In that moment I saw in my mind's eye that he went to where Brent was and he put is hand on Brent's shoulder.
I told your dad about this when he came home.
I am curious to see how we are going to be taught and I am also very humbled to have this experience. I am not told very often to specifically pray for very specific blessings like that, so I consider it an honor that we were ready for our angel of abundance to be introduced in our lives.
I love you! Remember that you will be told what to pray for in your prayers, especially when you most need it.
Your Mom
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Human Development Specialists
Dear Kids,
Tonight at a family dinner I had a flashback of a situation I had a few weeks ago with all of you.
Your Aunt Colleen was over. I can't even remember exactly what happened... but I remember vaguely it was an attack of various behaviors. Talia hit Gabe. Gabe hit her back. You both came running and sobbing at the same time. While you came running you tripped over Elijah. He started to cry. All three of you were having a melt down at the same time. After getting it solved it was lunch time. Lots of messes, teaching how to clean it up, being bugged by Elijah grabbing your feet from under the table. Kicking him down. Having to explain why that isn't okay. Reading books, teaching how to hold the book, going to the bathroom, making sure hands are washed, cuddling...
So after getting all of you down for some quiet time, I came out and just sunk down into a chair. Colleen is always really good about helping, so she came and sunk down in a chair by me. She looked at me and said, "NO ONE should EVER say 'I am just a mom'! You are a Human Development Specialist. That is what you are. This parenting thing is hard work!"
It is true! I am a Human Development Specialist.
So now let's go back to tonight at dinner. There was a situation with the cousins that came up and had to be solved, and parents needed to be involved. When they were talking to their son about what happened, this title came back to my mind. They are Human Development Specialists! That is what EVERY parent is... and what every parent should hope to be.
Being a Human Development Specialist is so hard though because it doesn't come with a handbook, you don't go through and get a masters in this degree. No one says, "Okay, you are now ready to handle anything a child can throw at you!" Anyone can be a parent. And being an active and involved parent is hard. There are so many times when I think, "What am I doing?".
BUT - here is the key. What I believe is the key. The Lord. He is the ultimate Human Development Specialist. When we get into situations with our kids that we just have no idea how to handle it, that is why we have The Lord to consult with. He knows the answers! Parenting is NOT just a one-sided deal. The Lord is always there to lead us, to guide us and to give us the answers that we so desperately need when we get into hard situations with our kids.
Remember, as you become Human Development Specialists yourselves, to please look at the 'Manual'. Read the scriptures and pray your guts out. How did the Savior handle situations? What tactics did He use? What words did He use? How did He treat people? What does the Lord do? How does the Lord encourage? How does He discipline? Doing a specific scripture study with JUST parenting tactics in mind is the best parenting class that anyone can ever take.
I love you all... my little human beings. :-) With all the crazy and hard involved.
Your Mom
Tonight at a family dinner I had a flashback of a situation I had a few weeks ago with all of you.
Your Aunt Colleen was over. I can't even remember exactly what happened... but I remember vaguely it was an attack of various behaviors. Talia hit Gabe. Gabe hit her back. You both came running and sobbing at the same time. While you came running you tripped over Elijah. He started to cry. All three of you were having a melt down at the same time. After getting it solved it was lunch time. Lots of messes, teaching how to clean it up, being bugged by Elijah grabbing your feet from under the table. Kicking him down. Having to explain why that isn't okay. Reading books, teaching how to hold the book, going to the bathroom, making sure hands are washed, cuddling...
So after getting all of you down for some quiet time, I came out and just sunk down into a chair. Colleen is always really good about helping, so she came and sunk down in a chair by me. She looked at me and said, "NO ONE should EVER say 'I am just a mom'! You are a Human Development Specialist. That is what you are. This parenting thing is hard work!"
It is true! I am a Human Development Specialist.
So now let's go back to tonight at dinner. There was a situation with the cousins that came up and had to be solved, and parents needed to be involved. When they were talking to their son about what happened, this title came back to my mind. They are Human Development Specialists! That is what EVERY parent is... and what every parent should hope to be.
Being a Human Development Specialist is so hard though because it doesn't come with a handbook, you don't go through and get a masters in this degree. No one says, "Okay, you are now ready to handle anything a child can throw at you!" Anyone can be a parent. And being an active and involved parent is hard. There are so many times when I think, "What am I doing?".
BUT - here is the key. What I believe is the key. The Lord. He is the ultimate Human Development Specialist. When we get into situations with our kids that we just have no idea how to handle it, that is why we have The Lord to consult with. He knows the answers! Parenting is NOT just a one-sided deal. The Lord is always there to lead us, to guide us and to give us the answers that we so desperately need when we get into hard situations with our kids.
Remember, as you become Human Development Specialists yourselves, to please look at the 'Manual'. Read the scriptures and pray your guts out. How did the Savior handle situations? What tactics did He use? What words did He use? How did He treat people? What does the Lord do? How does the Lord encourage? How does He discipline? Doing a specific scripture study with JUST parenting tactics in mind is the best parenting class that anyone can ever take.
I love you all... my little human beings. :-) With all the crazy and hard involved.
Your Mom
Friday, October 25, 2013
Celebrating You
Dear Gabriel,
5 years ago, right now, I was about 20 minutes away from holding my first baby. You.
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. I decided to have you naturally with a mid-wife. I was in labor for 24 hours. I was pushing for 3 hours. RIGHT now, 5 years ago, I thought I did not have the strength it took to actually get you into this world.
Having you was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life, I think especially because of the intensity of the situation. I remember that room being packed with spirits from the other side. I could feel them all around me, almost giving you a farewell. I remember vividly the powerful spirits that were there, trying to tell you just 'one more thing' to not forget before you came. I remember feeling the strength of women before me, having babies and going through the 'valley of the shadow of death' to get their children (ultimately US) here. To live. To love. To learn. To grow.
As I was in the most agony I have ever felt in my life, in an instant it turned into the greatest joy as soon as you were placed on my chest. I couldn't believe you were mine. MY baby! Mine and mine alone. You didn't go to anyone else. You came to me. I can see you in my mind's eye, and I can feel you and your soul. As I am writing this I can hardly see the computer screen because of how vivid these memories are! If only words can describe how hard I worked to get you here, how excited I was to meet you, how my arms were instantly aware of how to hold you and nurture you.
You, my first baby.
But now, it is 5 years later. Today we celebrated YOU. You woke up to a hallway filled with balloons and streamers, to a table decorated with your 'Happy Birthday' plate, to a family who couldn't live without you. Today we played, we laughed, we cried, we fought, we reconciled, we learned, we loved, we hugged. Today we had a birthday. You celebrated with friends, cousins and family. Today you are 5 years old. And your whole life is before you.
You are just starting to show the nature of your old, deep, and intense soul. You have a very specific mission here. You are going to do what no one else can and in a way that no one else can do it. In that room 5 years ago, there were angels passing you on, through the veil, to my arms. We are going to experience a lot together, you and I. But always remember how passionately I fell in love with you, my first baby. I never really understood love until you were there in my arms.
Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for giving me the gift of being your mother. I celebrate you today.
I love you,
Your Mom
5 years ago, right now, I was about 20 minutes away from holding my first baby. You.
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. I decided to have you naturally with a mid-wife. I was in labor for 24 hours. I was pushing for 3 hours. RIGHT now, 5 years ago, I thought I did not have the strength it took to actually get you into this world.
Having you was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life, I think especially because of the intensity of the situation. I remember that room being packed with spirits from the other side. I could feel them all around me, almost giving you a farewell. I remember vividly the powerful spirits that were there, trying to tell you just 'one more thing' to not forget before you came. I remember feeling the strength of women before me, having babies and going through the 'valley of the shadow of death' to get their children (ultimately US) here. To live. To love. To learn. To grow.
As I was in the most agony I have ever felt in my life, in an instant it turned into the greatest joy as soon as you were placed on my chest. I couldn't believe you were mine. MY baby! Mine and mine alone. You didn't go to anyone else. You came to me. I can see you in my mind's eye, and I can feel you and your soul. As I am writing this I can hardly see the computer screen because of how vivid these memories are! If only words can describe how hard I worked to get you here, how excited I was to meet you, how my arms were instantly aware of how to hold you and nurture you.
You, my first baby.
But now, it is 5 years later. Today we celebrated YOU. You woke up to a hallway filled with balloons and streamers, to a table decorated with your 'Happy Birthday' plate, to a family who couldn't live without you. Today we played, we laughed, we cried, we fought, we reconciled, we learned, we loved, we hugged. Today we had a birthday. You celebrated with friends, cousins and family. Today you are 5 years old. And your whole life is before you.
You are just starting to show the nature of your old, deep, and intense soul. You have a very specific mission here. You are going to do what no one else can and in a way that no one else can do it. In that room 5 years ago, there were angels passing you on, through the veil, to my arms. We are going to experience a lot together, you and I. But always remember how passionately I fell in love with you, my first baby. I never really understood love until you were there in my arms.
Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for giving me the gift of being your mother. I celebrate you today.
I love you,
Your Mom
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Just Enjoy It!
Dear Kids,
I had a big realization over this last weekend.
I was out of town, all by myself, for a work trip and to take some rejuvenation time. Doing the work was invigorating, because it is stuff that I LOVE to do. It refreshed my mind and shook some cobwebs out of some long-lost rooms of my brain, which haven't been opened for a little while.
Well, while I was gone, I would call home and talk with all of you. I couldn't believe how LITTLE you still are! When I am in the 'day in and day out' of the motherly grind, I forget sometimes how little you all still are. I had that realization when I would call you because of your little voices, your innocent conversation and your excitement for everything.
That realization led to my BIG realization... and that is this - I need to just enjoy you more. Being away for a few days was so good for me to see that I just need to enjoy it! This mothering life. Enjoy the innocent messes when you are just having fun, enjoy the crazy eating and laughing at the table, enjoy the questions thrown at me about everything, enjoy the beauty of little hand prints on the glass, enjoy the crying and looking for me to comfort, enjoy teaching moments... just enjoy it all. (And not just so our family pictures look cute - but for real every day)
Too fast and too soon you are going to be big, eventually be gone and I will wish for these days. This is a fact I already know. It is just sometimes hard to remember when I am inside this real life, every day mothering picture constantly.
So remember, your mom enjoyed you! I want you to remember that I enjoy you all. I enjoy your laughter, your personalities, your minds, your souls and your unique talents.
I love you!
Your Mom
I had a big realization over this last weekend.
I was out of town, all by myself, for a work trip and to take some rejuvenation time. Doing the work was invigorating, because it is stuff that I LOVE to do. It refreshed my mind and shook some cobwebs out of some long-lost rooms of my brain, which haven't been opened for a little while.
Well, while I was gone, I would call home and talk with all of you. I couldn't believe how LITTLE you still are! When I am in the 'day in and day out' of the motherly grind, I forget sometimes how little you all still are. I had that realization when I would call you because of your little voices, your innocent conversation and your excitement for everything.
Too fast and too soon you are going to be big, eventually be gone and I will wish for these days. This is a fact I already know. It is just sometimes hard to remember when I am inside this real life, every day mothering picture constantly.
So remember, your mom enjoyed you! I want you to remember that I enjoy you all. I enjoy your laughter, your personalities, your minds, your souls and your unique talents.
I love you!
Your Mom
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
How A Screeching Baby Can Prepare For Adversity
Dear Elijah,
The Lord has sent your screeching lungs to me as a test. I just know it.
You screech louder and higher than ANY baby I have ever heard. Any time you want to communicate something, it is always in a screech. Most of the time you are happy and smiling, but your screeching can send me over my emotional edge anytime I allow it to.
I believe that your screeching is the hardest 'enticement' I have had to face in the last couple of months. Let me explain... Enticements are the everyday things that are hard. They aren't horrible, they aren't life altering, they aren't deadly... they are just annoying and most people would rather not deal with them. They are things like bad drivers, fighting kids, unaware teenagers, screeching... you know anything that is just annoying.
Well, enticements are put in our lives everyday so we can train our hearts and minds, improve our self talk, and increase our ability to cope. Everyone has an enticement that is 'their' enticement. For example, your dad's enticement is unthoughtful people. When people are unthoughtful, he just HATES it. It rubs him the wrong way and he has to look inward to see how he is handling his enticement. Is he going to allow his feelings about those unthoughtful people to affect his whole day? Or is he going to take charge of his emotions and move forward? Enticements teach us all how to increase the space between stimulus and response. The bigger that space is, the better we can act inside of life's situations, instead of react with emotions like anger, frustration or fear.
My enticement is whining and screeching. I can handle whining even MUCH better than screeching. Your screeching is my enticement. And I have to say it is truly one of the hardest ones I have had to overcome. I am not doing a great job overcoming it at this point actually!
The magical thing about enticements is how they teach us to overcome adversity. While enticements are everyday things that are annoying and hard... Adversities are LIFE changing things. The better we learn how to overcome our everyday enticements and use them for our good, the better prepared we will be to overcome and handle the adversities in our lives. Enticements prepare us and train us HOW we are going to handle our adversities.
Here is the key to accelerated growth: The Savior. Every time my enticement (your screeching) hits my nerves, if I use that moment to become closer to the Savior, to pray and become spiritually focused, then that enticement 'moment' has not been lost. The more I train my spirit, emotions and mind to focus on the Savior, the more I will turn to Him when those adversities come. Enticements then are one of life's BIGGEST keys to being able to overcome adversity and maintain faith while doing so.
Keep on screeching. It is teaching me. You are teaching me. And thank heavens you are one of the cutest teachers I know.
I love you,
Your Mom
The Lord has sent your screeching lungs to me as a test. I just know it.
You screech louder and higher than ANY baby I have ever heard. Any time you want to communicate something, it is always in a screech. Most of the time you are happy and smiling, but your screeching can send me over my emotional edge anytime I allow it to.
I believe that your screeching is the hardest 'enticement' I have had to face in the last couple of months. Let me explain... Enticements are the everyday things that are hard. They aren't horrible, they aren't life altering, they aren't deadly... they are just annoying and most people would rather not deal with them. They are things like bad drivers, fighting kids, unaware teenagers, screeching... you know anything that is just annoying.
Well, enticements are put in our lives everyday so we can train our hearts and minds, improve our self talk, and increase our ability to cope. Everyone has an enticement that is 'their' enticement. For example, your dad's enticement is unthoughtful people. When people are unthoughtful, he just HATES it. It rubs him the wrong way and he has to look inward to see how he is handling his enticement. Is he going to allow his feelings about those unthoughtful people to affect his whole day? Or is he going to take charge of his emotions and move forward? Enticements teach us all how to increase the space between stimulus and response. The bigger that space is, the better we can act inside of life's situations, instead of react with emotions like anger, frustration or fear.
My enticement is whining and screeching. I can handle whining even MUCH better than screeching. Your screeching is my enticement. And I have to say it is truly one of the hardest ones I have had to overcome. I am not doing a great job overcoming it at this point actually!
The magical thing about enticements is how they teach us to overcome adversity. While enticements are everyday things that are annoying and hard... Adversities are LIFE changing things. The better we learn how to overcome our everyday enticements and use them for our good, the better prepared we will be to overcome and handle the adversities in our lives. Enticements prepare us and train us HOW we are going to handle our adversities.
Here is the key to accelerated growth: The Savior. Every time my enticement (your screeching) hits my nerves, if I use that moment to become closer to the Savior, to pray and become spiritually focused, then that enticement 'moment' has not been lost. The more I train my spirit, emotions and mind to focus on the Savior, the more I will turn to Him when those adversities come. Enticements then are one of life's BIGGEST keys to being able to overcome adversity and maintain faith while doing so.
I love you,
Your Mom
Help People Move!
Dear Kids,
I just wanted to write you and remind you to ALWAYS help people who are moving!
Today we went over to one of our friend's houses to help her clean and pack (or... I helped her clean and you three played in the backyard). I don't feel like I got a lot done... but to her, any help was wonderful help. They are moving far away and she is overwhelmed.
Your dad moved 18 times before he was 18 years old. They always needed help. We have moved 4 times in the 6 years we have been married. I can tell you, anyone who help when you are moving are ANGELS sent from heaven.
Look for ways you can serve, and I promise one way is to help people who move. Don't forget it. It is easy to forget. But don't forget it.
I love you,
Your Mom
I just wanted to write you and remind you to ALWAYS help people who are moving!
Today we went over to one of our friend's houses to help her clean and pack (or... I helped her clean and you three played in the backyard). I don't feel like I got a lot done... but to her, any help was wonderful help. They are moving far away and she is overwhelmed.
Your dad moved 18 times before he was 18 years old. They always needed help. We have moved 4 times in the 6 years we have been married. I can tell you, anyone who help when you are moving are ANGELS sent from heaven.
Look for ways you can serve, and I promise one way is to help people who move. Don't forget it. It is easy to forget. But don't forget it.
I love you,
Your Mom
Friday, October 11, 2013
Kung Fu Panda Teaches About Mother's Love
Dear Natalia,
Tonight we did a family movie night with some pizza and watched the cartoon 'Kung Fu Panda II'. We haven't watched it for a while, quite a few months actually.
Well, as you remember the story, the whole movie is basically talking about the main character 'Po' and where he actually comes from. His panda village was raided and burned down, as we find out later in the movie. It shows in one section when Po is flashing back and in his vision he sees his mother running through the snow, holding him as a baby, running from wolves that are trying to catch them.
Then his mom sees some food baskets, runs down a hill, and puts her baby in a radish basket. It shows the baby's face, not wanting his mother to leave, and his mother tearing up and her heartache at leaving her baby behind. She puts him in the basket, consoles him for a moment, then when she hears the wolves she runs back up the hill and gives her life to veer the pursuers away from her baby.
It was VERY emotional for me to watch! Then it got more emotional when you turned to me, with HUGE crocodile tears in your eyes you said, "Oh no! No, no! The mom can't leave her baby! No!". You then came to me, hugged me as tight as you could around my neck and sobbed. You were so sad to watch this whole story play out.
It took me some time to try and explain to you that the baby's mom didn't leave him, she saved him. She gave her life so he could live and be okay. She loved him so much, she was brave and courageous enough to do ANYTHING it took for the wolves never to find her baby.
Even at just three years old, your instincts and emotions were alive and very vivid inside of the relationship between a mom and baby. How amazing! My heart was just tearing inside when I placed myself, in my mind's eye, in that kind of situation of leaving my child in a food basket as the only hope to keep them alive. How many women throughout history have given everything for their children? Been beaten, bruised, molested, captured, tortured and killed... and they did it all for their babies. Even now writing this my eyes can't stop the tears. It makes me ever grateful to be writing this entry from a safe home, in a safe neighborhood and with my family that is healthy and strong.
The power of a mother's love is indescribable. I love you so much, you are strong, you are amazing, you are feminine, and the Lord put you here to be a woman... to be a mother. There is no greater gift.
And yes... I would and will do anything it takes to protect you from any 'wolves' that might try and get you. Even give my life.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tonight we did a family movie night with some pizza and watched the cartoon 'Kung Fu Panda II'. We haven't watched it for a while, quite a few months actually.
Well, as you remember the story, the whole movie is basically talking about the main character 'Po' and where he actually comes from. His panda village was raided and burned down, as we find out later in the movie. It shows in one section when Po is flashing back and in his vision he sees his mother running through the snow, holding him as a baby, running from wolves that are trying to catch them.
Then his mom sees some food baskets, runs down a hill, and puts her baby in a radish basket. It shows the baby's face, not wanting his mother to leave, and his mother tearing up and her heartache at leaving her baby behind. She puts him in the basket, consoles him for a moment, then when she hears the wolves she runs back up the hill and gives her life to veer the pursuers away from her baby.
It was VERY emotional for me to watch! Then it got more emotional when you turned to me, with HUGE crocodile tears in your eyes you said, "Oh no! No, no! The mom can't leave her baby! No!". You then came to me, hugged me as tight as you could around my neck and sobbed. You were so sad to watch this whole story play out.
It took me some time to try and explain to you that the baby's mom didn't leave him, she saved him. She gave her life so he could live and be okay. She loved him so much, she was brave and courageous enough to do ANYTHING it took for the wolves never to find her baby.
The power of a mother's love is indescribable. I love you so much, you are strong, you are amazing, you are feminine, and the Lord put you here to be a woman... to be a mother. There is no greater gift.
And yes... I would and will do anything it takes to protect you from any 'wolves' that might try and get you. Even give my life.
I love you,
Your Mom
Monday, October 7, 2013
Because Of Him
Dear Kids,
I was told once in a blessing to be humble enough to publicly declare my shortcomings, my temptations, my weaknesses. This is the motivation behind various stories (yelling, snapping, comparing... many more).
Tonight I thought again about this particular counsel because I had several comments lately (which I truly do appreciate) saying things like:
"There is no way I could be as balanced as you."
"I can't believe how strong you are."
"Just seems like you have everything under control."
"You are amazing at everything."
Even though the compliments are truly appreciated, I really don't want to put on a 'perfect' appearance... especially while teaching you, my kids, about the realities of life. We are all completely human, we fall, we stumble, we have hard times, we yell, we snap, we are fallen... But luckily there was one who did go through everything for us, so we could even hope to possibly improve, see the light and feel true peace and joy.
Through everything in your lives I want you to remember that your mom LOVED the Savior. I love Him so much. I can't do anything without Him. He has done everything for me. He has given me breath. He has sustained me and carried me. He suffered everything for me, and for you. He will lift you, take care of you and love you through everything.
I realized over the weekend that I need to just simply bear my testimony of Him more, most especially to you. When I am a weak human being, which you of all people will see the most, remember that I am still trying to figure out this thing called 'life'. The Savior and our Lord will point you always in the places and paths that are best for you. My goal is to be the best servant I can be, and pass on a testimony of the Savior to you. It is because of Him that anyone can have true life, eternal life and eternal love.
I love you,
Your Mom
I was told once in a blessing to be humble enough to publicly declare my shortcomings, my temptations, my weaknesses. This is the motivation behind various stories (yelling, snapping, comparing... many more).
Tonight I thought again about this particular counsel because I had several comments lately (which I truly do appreciate) saying things like:
"There is no way I could be as balanced as you."
"I can't believe how strong you are."
"Just seems like you have everything under control."
"You are amazing at everything."
Even though the compliments are truly appreciated, I really don't want to put on a 'perfect' appearance... especially while teaching you, my kids, about the realities of life. We are all completely human, we fall, we stumble, we have hard times, we yell, we snap, we are fallen... But luckily there was one who did go through everything for us, so we could even hope to possibly improve, see the light and feel true peace and joy.
Through everything in your lives I want you to remember that your mom LOVED the Savior. I love Him so much. I can't do anything without Him. He has done everything for me. He has given me breath. He has sustained me and carried me. He suffered everything for me, and for you. He will lift you, take care of you and love you through everything.
I realized over the weekend that I need to just simply bear my testimony of Him more, most especially to you. When I am a weak human being, which you of all people will see the most, remember that I am still trying to figure out this thing called 'life'. The Savior and our Lord will point you always in the places and paths that are best for you. My goal is to be the best servant I can be, and pass on a testimony of the Savior to you. It is because of Him that anyone can have true life, eternal life and eternal love.
I love you,
Your Mom
Friday, October 4, 2013
Lessons From Towels
Dear Kids,
The other night your dad and I were folding laundry together. We started talking and laughing about something that happened earlier in our marriage. I realized I have never written this story down, so I am going to tonight.
The first time your dad and I did laundry together, after we were married, he watched me fold towels. I folded them in halves. I had always folded them in halves. After I folded a few towels he said, "You are folding the towels wrong". Well, immediately my guard was up. I got very prideful and said, "No I am not! I have always folded towels this way. This is how my mom showed me to fold them."
He then proceeded to show me a 'better' way to fold towels (according to him anyway) which was in thirds. He said, "When you fold them in thirds they fit into the shelves so much easier." Well, by this time I was NOT going to give into saying that his way was better. So I just said, "When you do laundry, you can fold your towels that way, but when I do laundry I am going to fold them my way."
For over 2 years we continued to argue about whose way was better to fold towels.
Well, after Gabriel was born, Mimi and Papa came to visit us for about a week. Mimi helped me with the laundry and we got our house into some great order. Then they left. About a month later, we went up to their house in Idaho to visit for the holidays.
One day while we were there I was helping Mimi do the laundry. And she folded her towels in thirds! I said, "Mom! You have never folded your towels like that. What are you doing?"
Now here comes the lesson...
"Well, when I was at your house, I saw Brent folding your towels in thirds. It looked so much nicer and fit so much better in the shelves. So when I got home, I decided I was going to change."
I just stood there and looked at her. Then I laughed and told her that we had been arguing over towels for a couple of years, about which way was 'better'. Because she wasn't emotionally tied into the pride and power struggle, she could clearly see that folding them in thirds was actually a better way. After folding laundry with her I was able to see the silliness of the power struggle and let go of it. And mostly because, without realizing it, my mom gave me 'permission' to change.
Life is about changing for the better, learning from other people, especially in marriage and family life. This is a story I am going to tell many times in my life because of the simple lesson involved in it. Let go of the power struggle, see the situation for what it is, and then let go of the pride. Look around your life right now and see what you might need to change, but you are holding onto for some unknown reason. Then take a deep breath, let go of your pride, and see a better way.
I love you,
Your Mom
The other night your dad and I were folding laundry together. We started talking and laughing about something that happened earlier in our marriage. I realized I have never written this story down, so I am going to tonight.
The first time your dad and I did laundry together, after we were married, he watched me fold towels. I folded them in halves. I had always folded them in halves. After I folded a few towels he said, "You are folding the towels wrong". Well, immediately my guard was up. I got very prideful and said, "No I am not! I have always folded towels this way. This is how my mom showed me to fold them."
He then proceeded to show me a 'better' way to fold towels (according to him anyway) which was in thirds. He said, "When you fold them in thirds they fit into the shelves so much easier." Well, by this time I was NOT going to give into saying that his way was better. So I just said, "When you do laundry, you can fold your towels that way, but when I do laundry I am going to fold them my way."
For over 2 years we continued to argue about whose way was better to fold towels.
Well, after Gabriel was born, Mimi and Papa came to visit us for about a week. Mimi helped me with the laundry and we got our house into some great order. Then they left. About a month later, we went up to their house in Idaho to visit for the holidays.
One day while we were there I was helping Mimi do the laundry. And she folded her towels in thirds! I said, "Mom! You have never folded your towels like that. What are you doing?"
Now here comes the lesson...
"Well, when I was at your house, I saw Brent folding your towels in thirds. It looked so much nicer and fit so much better in the shelves. So when I got home, I decided I was going to change."
I just stood there and looked at her. Then I laughed and told her that we had been arguing over towels for a couple of years, about which way was 'better'. Because she wasn't emotionally tied into the pride and power struggle, she could clearly see that folding them in thirds was actually a better way. After folding laundry with her I was able to see the silliness of the power struggle and let go of it. And mostly because, without realizing it, my mom gave me 'permission' to change.
Life is about changing for the better, learning from other people, especially in marriage and family life. This is a story I am going to tell many times in my life because of the simple lesson involved in it. Let go of the power struggle, see the situation for what it is, and then let go of the pride. Look around your life right now and see what you might need to change, but you are holding onto for some unknown reason. Then take a deep breath, let go of your pride, and see a better way.
I love you,
Your Mom
Government Shutdown: Time For An American Lesson
Dear Kids,
The last few days there has been a 'historic' government shutdown. There are so many facets involved in this whole thing... I don't even know where to begin.
So instead of talking about what is going on with the national government, let's start with our house. It all starts here, in our home.
I want you to remember this: THE ONLY TIME A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN WILL HURT ANY NATION IS IF THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH CONTROL.
Could you hear me shouting that one? It is boggling my mind to see all the different news stories, all the maniacs shouting, all the 'partisan' talk, all the people going back and forth and back and forth about all the issues that are SURFACE issues!
The real issue is this... why does the government have enough control to do a shutdown in the first place? Because we as American's have allowed them to gradually take over our freedoms and stomp on the constitution. That is why. It is OUR own fault that we are at this point.
But here is the grand part about it. You, all of my kids and hopefully others around you, get to learn from the lessons and mistakes we are making right now. America is a completely different land than what it was meant to be right now. We are a socialist state at the current moment. More and more control is being placed on us and the citizens are allowing it to happen. But not for long.
You, the rising generation, you will be stronger and smarter than we are right now. At least, in this house you will be. You must understand that freedom and liberty are NOT a right that comes from the government. They come from God. Period. The government should be stronger at the state level than the national level. The federal government is NOT an aristocracy!
There are a lot of things going on in the world to get rid of freedom. But that part that all those 'in control' have no idea about is this: God is still in charge. They are not. God is the grand master. They are not. God is the beginning and the End. They are not.
I pray more and more that the Lord will come back soon. I pray for His power and love to be upon this world. But we must cleanse ourselves from the inside. If our land has allowed the federal government to get this powerful and this abusive, then it means that we must start in the home. Our homes are falling apart all over the country. We must start by strengthening the family. The family is the perfect unit. NOT the government.
I could talk about this for a while, but more than anything, the American lesson is this: The government does not run your life. You run your life. Be the leaders necessary to stand up for freedom, not just in America, but in the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
The last few days there has been a 'historic' government shutdown. There are so many facets involved in this whole thing... I don't even know where to begin.
So instead of talking about what is going on with the national government, let's start with our house. It all starts here, in our home.
I want you to remember this: THE ONLY TIME A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN WILL HURT ANY NATION IS IF THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH CONTROL.
Could you hear me shouting that one? It is boggling my mind to see all the different news stories, all the maniacs shouting, all the 'partisan' talk, all the people going back and forth and back and forth about all the issues that are SURFACE issues!
The real issue is this... why does the government have enough control to do a shutdown in the first place? Because we as American's have allowed them to gradually take over our freedoms and stomp on the constitution. That is why. It is OUR own fault that we are at this point.
But here is the grand part about it. You, all of my kids and hopefully others around you, get to learn from the lessons and mistakes we are making right now. America is a completely different land than what it was meant to be right now. We are a socialist state at the current moment. More and more control is being placed on us and the citizens are allowing it to happen. But not for long.
You, the rising generation, you will be stronger and smarter than we are right now. At least, in this house you will be. You must understand that freedom and liberty are NOT a right that comes from the government. They come from God. Period. The government should be stronger at the state level than the national level. The federal government is NOT an aristocracy!
There are a lot of things going on in the world to get rid of freedom. But that part that all those 'in control' have no idea about is this: God is still in charge. They are not. God is the grand master. They are not. God is the beginning and the End. They are not.
I pray more and more that the Lord will come back soon. I pray for His power and love to be upon this world. But we must cleanse ourselves from the inside. If our land has allowed the federal government to get this powerful and this abusive, then it means that we must start in the home. Our homes are falling apart all over the country. We must start by strengthening the family. The family is the perfect unit. NOT the government.
I could talk about this for a while, but more than anything, the American lesson is this: The government does not run your life. You run your life. Be the leaders necessary to stand up for freedom, not just in America, but in the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Importance of Snuggle Time To End The Day
Dear Gabriel,
You want to snuggle with me every night lately after I put you to bed. I am LOVING this new stage you are going into. When you snuggle with me, all I do is just ask you questions and listen to you talk and process. And I love it.
You tell me about your cars, your friends, when you were mad, when you were sad, the lunch you didn't like, the broken jar that fell, the stain on your shirt... just everything.
Well, tonight you lost the privilege of singing songs together because of getting angry with me and not being very nice about it. After putting you to bed you said, "Mom, will you please still come snuggle with me?" So I went and laid down in your bed with you. You started to process, "Mom I really wanted to sing songs!". So I asked you, "Why did we not sing songs?" to which you replied, "Because I was not very kind and was mad at you."
Then you looked at me. Took my cheeks in your hands and said, "I am so sorry mom. I was not very nice."
Oh my heart was softened so much for you! You didn't ask to sing songs after you apologized. You knew that we would have to do it another time instead. But you were so sincere and so truthful about your feels of 'being sorry'.
I want to have snuggle and processing time with you everyday. This is going to help us to maintain a very good relationship as you grow older. I plan on doing this consistently.
I love you,
Your Mom
You want to snuggle with me every night lately after I put you to bed. I am LOVING this new stage you are going into. When you snuggle with me, all I do is just ask you questions and listen to you talk and process. And I love it.
You tell me about your cars, your friends, when you were mad, when you were sad, the lunch you didn't like, the broken jar that fell, the stain on your shirt... just everything.
Well, tonight you lost the privilege of singing songs together because of getting angry with me and not being very nice about it. After putting you to bed you said, "Mom, will you please still come snuggle with me?" So I went and laid down in your bed with you. You started to process, "Mom I really wanted to sing songs!". So I asked you, "Why did we not sing songs?" to which you replied, "Because I was not very kind and was mad at you."
Then you looked at me. Took my cheeks in your hands and said, "I am so sorry mom. I was not very nice."
Oh my heart was softened so much for you! You didn't ask to sing songs after you apologized. You knew that we would have to do it another time instead. But you were so sincere and so truthful about your feels of 'being sorry'.
I want to have snuggle and processing time with you everyday. This is going to help us to maintain a very good relationship as you grow older. I plan on doing this consistently.
I love you,
Your Mom
Staying In Control Of My Emotions First
Dear Kids,
I keep learning a lesson over and over again about parenting. It is pretty 'common' knowledge, but like so many things that are simple, they are very hard in application.
The lesson is: Staying Calm.
Your dad has been out of town for about 8 days now. All of you are missing him, and the meltdowns have been happening more and more the last few days. Teaching myself how to just stay calm is hard... especially with a baby screaming for more food and help, a 3 year old throwing a tantrum and a 5 year old not wanting to go to bed because he wants to wait up all night for dad.
In moments that are hard as a parent, it is really hard to just stay calm. I had NO IDEA before becoming a parent about how important this skill is. No one gets under your skin like your kids can. No one can push your buttons like your kids. No one can push you to your limits, like your kids. You will learn this as you become a parent.
So remember, to just stay calm. The moment you start spiraling, give yourself a break. Back off. Let the kids cry in the next room for a few minutes while you collect your 'cool' again. I have tried doing so many things when you are emotional, tired, angry, frustrated, bull-headed and disrespectful. I have tried coercion, persuasion, yelling, bribing... but nothing works as well as staying in control of my OWN emotions FIRST!!
That is my main lesson this week.
I love you,
Your Mom
I keep learning a lesson over and over again about parenting. It is pretty 'common' knowledge, but like so many things that are simple, they are very hard in application.
The lesson is: Staying Calm.
Your dad has been out of town for about 8 days now. All of you are missing him, and the meltdowns have been happening more and more the last few days. Teaching myself how to just stay calm is hard... especially with a baby screaming for more food and help, a 3 year old throwing a tantrum and a 5 year old not wanting to go to bed because he wants to wait up all night for dad.
In moments that are hard as a parent, it is really hard to just stay calm. I had NO IDEA before becoming a parent about how important this skill is. No one gets under your skin like your kids can. No one can push your buttons like your kids. No one can push you to your limits, like your kids. You will learn this as you become a parent.
So remember, to just stay calm. The moment you start spiraling, give yourself a break. Back off. Let the kids cry in the next room for a few minutes while you collect your 'cool' again. I have tried doing so many things when you are emotional, tired, angry, frustrated, bull-headed and disrespectful. I have tried coercion, persuasion, yelling, bribing... but nothing works as well as staying in control of my OWN emotions FIRST!!
That is my main lesson this week.
I love you,
Your Mom
Power Of Getting Away
Dear Kids,
I can not wait to getaway with your dad tomorrow.
Your dad and I do a very good job keeping up good communication, checking in with each other, talking about the schedules, maintaining alone time together after your bedtime, reading together, praying together... doing a bunch of things to keep our relationship up. But no matter what there are interruptions from children, someone calling on the phone, people dropping by, loud noises while trying to have a dinner conversation, just DISTRACTIONS. It is a daily choice we make to love each other... and sometimes it is hard. That is part of marriage.
Your dad and I are also BOTH the kind of people who need connection, very regularly and deeply. Just living 'day in and day out' is definitely not good enough for us to keep our souls aligned with each other. Life is so busy and getting busier, I don't know how else to keep our connection just for us, without getaways. Getting away is powerful. To just 'be'. No one pulling on our skirt. No one interrupting our thoughts. No one knocking on our door.
Getaways are powerful because of just focusing on our relationship. Reconnecting. Flirting. Getting to know each other where we currently are and the personal space we are in together over and over and over again. Life changes. People change. If as a couple you are not taking that time to make sure you are truly connected, truly on the same page, truly communicating, then your relationship will not help you to be satisfied or happy.
I once had a mentor of mine tell me that he truly believed one of the biggest reasons (besides the Lord and spiritual connection) the thing that helped his marriage the most over the years was this philosophy:
One night a week
One day a month
One week a year
Find a spouse that you love to just be with. I LOVE to be with your dad. I love to talk with him. I love to read with him. I love to walk with him. I love to flirt with him. I love to connect and dream and laugh with him. I love his passion for me and the passion I have for him. I just LOVE him. Getting away together helps us to feel 'US' again.
When we getaway we actually have a rule that we can't talk about our kids, family, extended family, finances, people, world events.... We can ONLY talk about us and our relationship. How WE are doing. Are we fulfilling each other needs enough? How can we be out-of-the-box towards each other more? What can we do to fill each others love buckets better? What do we need to work on? How can we love each other more? It is amazing how much it does for us to just talk about us and focus on US.
Just remember... I married your dad to be with your dad forever. I am grateful to have all of you in our lives, but eventually you will grow and have families of your own. I remember my dad saying that to us, "I didn't get married to be with you guys forever, I married your mom because I am madly in love with her and want to be with HER forever!". And I fully agree.
I love you... and remember that I will always adore and be in love with your dad and love him like crazy too.
Remember: The most important thing for happy kids, is for mom and dad to be happy together. It takes WORK. It is not always picture perfect. Do everything you can to be connected! To getaway. To just 'be'. It is worth it.
I love you,
Your Mom
I can not wait to getaway with your dad tomorrow.
Your dad and I do a very good job keeping up good communication, checking in with each other, talking about the schedules, maintaining alone time together after your bedtime, reading together, praying together... doing a bunch of things to keep our relationship up. But no matter what there are interruptions from children, someone calling on the phone, people dropping by, loud noises while trying to have a dinner conversation, just DISTRACTIONS. It is a daily choice we make to love each other... and sometimes it is hard. That is part of marriage.
Your dad and I are also BOTH the kind of people who need connection, very regularly and deeply. Just living 'day in and day out' is definitely not good enough for us to keep our souls aligned with each other. Life is so busy and getting busier, I don't know how else to keep our connection just for us, without getaways. Getting away is powerful. To just 'be'. No one pulling on our skirt. No one interrupting our thoughts. No one knocking on our door.
Getaways are powerful because of just focusing on our relationship. Reconnecting. Flirting. Getting to know each other where we currently are and the personal space we are in together over and over and over again. Life changes. People change. If as a couple you are not taking that time to make sure you are truly connected, truly on the same page, truly communicating, then your relationship will not help you to be satisfied or happy.
I once had a mentor of mine tell me that he truly believed one of the biggest reasons (besides the Lord and spiritual connection) the thing that helped his marriage the most over the years was this philosophy:
One night a week
One day a month
One week a year
Find a spouse that you love to just be with. I LOVE to be with your dad. I love to talk with him. I love to read with him. I love to walk with him. I love to flirt with him. I love to connect and dream and laugh with him. I love his passion for me and the passion I have for him. I just LOVE him. Getting away together helps us to feel 'US' again.
When we getaway we actually have a rule that we can't talk about our kids, family, extended family, finances, people, world events.... We can ONLY talk about us and our relationship. How WE are doing. Are we fulfilling each other needs enough? How can we be out-of-the-box towards each other more? What can we do to fill each others love buckets better? What do we need to work on? How can we love each other more? It is amazing how much it does for us to just talk about us and focus on US.
Just remember... I married your dad to be with your dad forever. I am grateful to have all of you in our lives, but eventually you will grow and have families of your own. I remember my dad saying that to us, "I didn't get married to be with you guys forever, I married your mom because I am madly in love with her and want to be with HER forever!". And I fully agree.I love you... and remember that I will always adore and be in love with your dad and love him like crazy too.
Remember: The most important thing for happy kids, is for mom and dad to be happy together. It takes WORK. It is not always picture perfect. Do everything you can to be connected! To getaway. To just 'be'. It is worth it.
I love you,
Your Mom
Friday, September 20, 2013
It Is All His
Dear Kids,
Just in case you were wondering... one of the keys to life is understanding this one principle:
EVERYTHING IS A STEWARDSHIP
The money that comes to you is the Lord's money. The children that come to you are the Lord's children. The house that comes to you is the Lord's house. The people that come to you are the Lord's children. The relationships that come to you are the Lord's relationships. The blessings that come to you are the Lord's blessings. The business you run is the Lord's business. And the adversity that comes to you is the LORD'S as well.
The more I understand about being a steward over what the Lord gives to me, the more peace in my heart I have about life. And it is a choice I have to make everyday... sometimes it is a choice I have to make every 5 minutes.
When you talk back to me for the 10th time that day I have to remember to choose and see you as the Lord's child. The way I handle the situation is greatly affected by remembering that you are my stewardship. When we have another financial set back, I have to remember that it is the Lord's money. If and when He wants us to have more, He will give it to us. Until then, everything we have or DON'T have is a stewardship. The way we handle hardships, I have to remember those hardships were given to us as a stewardship... the way we handle them will greatly determine whether we learn from the stewardship or not.
Act, and not be acted upon. That is the theme of life for our day and age. For any day and age really. It is not what the trial is, it is how we respond to the trial that makes all the difference. Whether the trial is big or small. Whether the trial is changing the 4th diaper blow out for the day or handling 3 crying kids at one time or finding out you have a deadly disease or a business failing or someone dying... It is still the same lesson.
You are my stewardship. I know you are amazing and great souls. Remembering that day in and day out helps me immensely. There is no fear of loss in the Lord's eyes, because it is ALL HIS anyway.
I love you,
Your Mom
Just in case you were wondering... one of the keys to life is understanding this one principle:
EVERYTHING IS A STEWARDSHIP
The money that comes to you is the Lord's money. The children that come to you are the Lord's children. The house that comes to you is the Lord's house. The people that come to you are the Lord's children. The relationships that come to you are the Lord's relationships. The blessings that come to you are the Lord's blessings. The business you run is the Lord's business. And the adversity that comes to you is the LORD'S as well.
The more I understand about being a steward over what the Lord gives to me, the more peace in my heart I have about life. And it is a choice I have to make everyday... sometimes it is a choice I have to make every 5 minutes.
When you talk back to me for the 10th time that day I have to remember to choose and see you as the Lord's child. The way I handle the situation is greatly affected by remembering that you are my stewardship. When we have another financial set back, I have to remember that it is the Lord's money. If and when He wants us to have more, He will give it to us. Until then, everything we have or DON'T have is a stewardship. The way we handle hardships, I have to remember those hardships were given to us as a stewardship... the way we handle them will greatly determine whether we learn from the stewardship or not.
Act, and not be acted upon. That is the theme of life for our day and age. For any day and age really. It is not what the trial is, it is how we respond to the trial that makes all the difference. Whether the trial is big or small. Whether the trial is changing the 4th diaper blow out for the day or handling 3 crying kids at one time or finding out you have a deadly disease or a business failing or someone dying... It is still the same lesson.
You are my stewardship. I know you are amazing and great souls. Remembering that day in and day out helps me immensely. There is no fear of loss in the Lord's eyes, because it is ALL HIS anyway.
I love you,
Your Mom
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